A Mother's Tale
by Christina B
Summary: The mother of ObiWan Kenobi always remembers the son that she lost to the Jedi.This is the journal entries of his mother, remembering her son. COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Obi-Wan or anything else Star Wars, all I own is my computer and car and I'm still paying those off.

AN: I've always been curious to know about Obi-Wan's parents and what they might have been going through their minds when they gave Obi-Wan up to the Jedi. This story is about journal entries from Obi-Wan's mother, hope you enjoy it.

**A Mother's Tale**

**Chapter 1**

Entry 1

Usually I'm not the sort of person who needs to write down their thoughts and feelings. I usually keep them all bottled up in my mind and heart. But as I move on to an important chapter in my life I feel now is when the memories I have I will want to remember years from now. It feels strange addressing a datapad, but I intend for this to be entirely private. My name is Rella Kenobi, and this is my story.

I've lived on the planet Frenton my whole life, and I've never once left it in fact. I live in the capital city Ryell with my husband Ben Kenobi. Ben works at an office all day and I stay and tend the home. We've only been married for a couple of months so this arrangement is good for us. I'm still in love with Ben just as much today as I was the day I married him.

Now that you know a little about me I will say the important stepping stone of life that has just been put upon me. I found out today that I am pregnant with my first child. The shock hasn't even begun to wear off yet. The idea that just nine months from now, my beautiful little baby will be brought into the world is hard to believe. It seems like just yesterday I was playing with dolls.

Lately I had been having morning sickness though at the time I didn't know that that was it, personally I believed it to be the flu. I didn't want to worry Ben, so I went by myself to the Med Center. It didn't take long for the medic to pronounce me pregnant. In 7 months I will give birth to a baby. The thought excites and terrifies me all at once.

As excited as I am about the new life growing inside me, the nervousness starts. Will I have what it takes to be a good mother; will my baby be healthy when he or she is born? This and more, are the questions that have made me worried all day long. Not to mention the fact that I must soon tell Ben, no doubt he will be surprised. I do know however that he will make a good father, despite the fact that he and I weren't anticipating becoming parents so soon.

Entry 2

Ben arrived home and I finally got up the courage to tell him that I was pregnant. He looked at me shocked for a moment before he pulled me into a kiss and started uttering sweet nothings in my ear. He is thrilled by the prospect of being a father, as I hoped he would be. Ben and I both can't wait to invite the newest Kenobi member to the family.

Now, thoughts of the baby are keeping me up at night so I've decided to write once more in the journal I've begun. I wonder first if the baby will be a boy or a girl and then my second thought is what the baby will look like. In what ways will the baby take after each of us? What kind of person will my baby be in life? All of these I wish to know now, though I also want to wait and take it as it comes. Unlike Ben I lack patience, something I need to work on. Someday soon I will be a mother, and goodness knows I will need patience for that. Ben is telling me to come back to the bed and get some rest, I must go.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Obi-Wan or anything else Star Wars, all I own is my computer and car and I'm still paying those off.

**A Mother's Tale**

**Chapter 2**

Entry 3

Today the shock I felt yesterday hasn't left, but now I'm beginning to get used to the idea. Having a baby will change so many things, but it would only be for the best. But at the moment, the baby has other ideas. I found I spent half the morning hugging the fresher, I certainly hope this part of my pregnancy will soon be over.

I had lunch with my mother today and I told her the news about my pregnancy, she took it remarkably well. She was thrilled by the prospect of having a grandson to spoil rotten. Then she began to talk my ear off with her endless concerns. Will there be a day when I act like this to my own children, I hope not. For one thing my mother already was asking what I would name my child and what I thought it was going to be. I couldn't seem to make her understand that I only found the news out yesterday.

Entry 4 

Tonight Ben and I went over to his parents house and told them the news. The entire Kenobi clan was there, so I felt a little bit intimidated to say the least. After we told them, I was bombarded with a million questions even more so than with my mother. Everyone is so happy for us, and I know that my baby will be well loved. I can just see it now, my son asking if he can go to Gramma and Grandpa's house today. Wait a moment, did I just say son? Must be a mother's intuition.

Its rather strange right now to believe that I'm pregnant as my body shows no signs of it being true. It will be even more strange when I wake up one day to see my bulging belly. So many things can happen to a young baby in the womb, it has been less that 2 days and I'm already feeling attached to the child I'm carrying.

**3 MONTHS LATER**

Entry 42

Today I finally felt the baby move. It was so strange; I was using the hydromop on the floor when I felt such a strange sensation coming from my stomach. I stopped what I was doing immediately and sat down. Then I felt a soft kick, that had made me laugh because it tickled so much. Then it kept happening, I'm now convinced it HAS to be a boy that I'm carrying.

When Ben came home from work, I pulled him close and let him feel the baby kicking. His eyes lit up and he looked as in awe as I had been when I first had felt the baby kicking. I think the best thing about finally feeling my baby move is that finally I know that my little one is eagerly awaiting his arrival in the world, just as eagerly as I am.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Obi-Wan or anything else Star Wars, all I own is my computer and car and I'm still paying those off.

**A Mother's Tale**

**Chapter 3**

Entry 43 

Ben and I have decided to not learn the sex of our child until the day arrives; we rather want to be surprised. No matter of the baby is a boy or girl, they will be loved. As for names we have figured out that if the baby is a boy we will name him Obi-Wan. I have no idea how this particular name came up, it was the strangest thing. I was taking a nap, sound asleep and then I just woke up and said Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan Kenobi has quite a ring to it, and Ben agrees with me on the name.

If the baby happens to be a girl I'm not sure what we will name her, perhaps after a relative. Speaking of the relatives they are constantly hounding me. I love them all but is it necessary to call me everyday to ask how I am. But I know they are excited and I can't help but share their enthusiasm, this baby already means so much to us all.

3 AND A HALF MONTHS LATER 

Entry 70

I'm now very close to my due date, and my body is beginning to show the signs of it. Now it has become very hard for me to get around the house, and often times my back hurts when I do any kind of physical activity which is my sign to take a break. Now I feel the baby move all the time, kicking most everyday. I find it such a welcoming feeling, and I get nervous if for one day I do not feel the baby kicking.

Ben is getting more and more edgy as time draws closer to the birth of our baby. He all the time is asking me if I need anything, can he do anything to make me more comfortable. Most nights he tries to get off work early so to be with me, my husband is such a wonderful man and will make the best father.

Entry 75 

It has finally happened, I'm still pinching myself out of pure and utter disbelief. I'm a mother now, my son Obi-Wan Kenobi entered the word last night. Our baby is absolutely perfect, he has all his fingers and toes and has his father's beautiful blue-grey eyes and the starts of reddish blonde hair, just like me. Now before the joys of motherhood distract me, I must recount the whole day. 

This morning when I woke up I felt weird, not necessarily bad just…out of it. Ben went to work as usual telling me that he loved me and to call his comlink should anything happen. I told him I would be fine since I was so sure that my baby wouldn't be born today, how very wrong I ended up being.

The first twinges of pain begun right after I had my afternoon meal. I was so sure it would be a few more weeks before my baby would be born, so I figured it was indigestion nothing more. But a few hours passed, and the pain intensified, and then I knew it I was in labor.

I signaled Ben on his comlink immediately. I told him not to be worried, but to just hurry home. I don't think it worked that much, as he rushed in and then asked me a million questions. I just told him that the more nervous he got the more I would be. That got the message across and he tried to calm down.

I had been told before that giving birth is so incredibly painful, but it was more excruciating that I would have thought. Yet I knew all the while how worth the pain it would be. We went to the med center and I was put in a bed. Ben held my hand as the contractions hit, poor dear.

I was finally ushered into the delivery room and wanted to scream at the nurse who kept telling me to breathe. And then I wanted to smack the medic when he told me to push. But when I heard my son's first cry, I felt ready to hug them. The medic announced it was a son, which means my mother's intuition was right. Little Obi-Wan was put into my arms and I was in absolute awe.

He really is the cutest baby I've ever seen, and I'm not just saying that as any other biased mother would. Already I can tell he's going to be quite the little charmer, with his big eyes. But all too soon they took him from my arms and told me to sleep. Despite how tired I was, I wanted nothing more than to hold Obi-Wan forever.

Now here I am in my room once more, trying to hide the datapad under my blanket so that the nurse doesn't yell at me. I never was a good patient. But now I do suppose it is time to get some sleep, I will have a busy job soon. The only job I ever want in life.

AN: I just want to thank LuvObi for the wonderful review. This one's for you. 


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own Obi-Wan or anything else Star Wars, all I own is my computer and car and I'm still paying those off.

**A Mother's Tale**

**Chapter 4**

Entry 76

I feel so incredibly blessed in life, not only do I have the most compassionate and loving husband but I have the most adorable baby boy there ever was. Ben took off work for a week just to be with me and our son. We spend hours talking to Obi-Wan telling him about our past and how much we love him. Not to mention our wishes and dreams for him. We would support him in anything he would ever choose to be in life, no matter what.

I can tell that Obi-Wan is going to be a very smart person, he seems to take everything in around him and I could almost swear he was understanding what we were saying to him. But I know that he probably is just interested in the sound of our voice.

Obi-Wan doesn't cry as some other babies would, he never really seems put out by anything. I only have heard him cry when he wanted to be fed or changed. And let me tell you, he has one voracious appetite. That child is going to eat us out of house and home when he gets older I'm sure.

A FEW WEEKS LATER

Entry 84

Something highly strange happened today I'm still not sure how I can explain it. I had put Obi-Wan down for a nap, and then I fell asleep myself. I woke up 2 hours later and realized I hadn't fed Obi-Wan yet and he would be hungry. Panicked, I went to my son's crib only to find that he already had his bottle.

I don't understand this at all, the bottles were all stored in a cooling unit next to his bed and I KNOW for a fact he didn't have a bottle when I put him down for a nap. How could an infant open a chest and get a bottle? I don't understand this at all. I must be loosing it.

A FEW WEEKS LATER

Entry 108

Something has happened that has literally shaken me at my very core and I honestly don't know how to cope. It all started today when I took Obi-Wan to the med center to get the usual infant tests done since he turned a month old today. Little did I know what one of those tests would eventually mean to us.

The medic came to speak to me about the results of Obi-Wan's test, I should have noticed he seemed a bit uneasy. Then he began to speak, I will put it down quote for quote because I do not thing I will ever forget the words he said to me.

"Mrs. Kenobi as you know we do certain tests on every infant when they reach one standard month," the medic started. I just nodded at him, this was old news to me.

"Well your son is perfectly healthy in every way, but we did notice something," he said not meeting my eyes. I held my son closer as I looked at him.

"Obi-Wan has a high midichlorian count," the medic said.

The word was unfamiliar to me and I just stared at the man. "What does that mean?" I asked.

"It means that Obi-Wan is Force Sensitive and that means he can be trained to become a Jedi," the medic explained.

A Jedi! My son a Jedi! I was taken aback as I stared incredulously at the medic. I knew that Jedi went around the galaxy helping worlds with a multitude of problems. They were the warriors that could be unmatched, and the most selfless beings anywhere. They also lived on Coruscant, and used those lightsaber things.

And then I began thinking, could those tests be wrong? The Kenobi family, not to mention my family has never had anyone who was Force Sensitive in the past. I wanted to think they test was wrong, but then again Obi-Wan did get his bottle that one day (the little sneak). So I know it, my Obi-Wan might become a Jedi someday. But I still didn't understand. "How can this happen? My family has had no Force Sensitives ever," I explained.

"Well that is not unusual, it's been known to just pop up where you least expect it," said the medic.

"So what happens now?" I asked, though I recall the voice not sounding like mine.

"I will contact the Jedi Temple on Coruscant and they will send a representative to your home to speak with you about the possibility of training Obi-Wan," the medic said.

A Jedi coming to my home…will the surprises never end today? "Thank you," I said.

"Your welcome…you know I think Obi-Wan is the first Force Sensitive child Frenton has had in years, or at least with the potential to become a Jedi. You must be proud," the medic said as I left.

"I will always be proud of my son," I answered and I soon left the Med Center with Obi-Wan and started heading home.

Now don't get me wrong I'm so proud that my son is so special (now I understand how he got his bottle that day, the little sneak), but in the same token it saddens me because I know that he might soon be taken to the Jedi Temple.

AN: I want to thank whatevergirl and Lea-El for their lovely reviews.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own Obi-Wan or anything else Star Wars, all I own is my computer and car and I'm still paying those off.

**A Mother's Tale**

**Chapter 5**

Entry 109

The shock of this morning hasn't even begun to wear off. In fact it is only growing more profound with every passing minute. I still can't believe what the medic said, it seems too unreal. I'm worried to think of what Ben is going to say when he comes home, but I know his reaction will be the same as mine. He will be totally and utterly shocked.

I know it would be a great honor to have a son who is out there fighting for peace and justice in the galaxy, but that would mean having to say goodbye. Would Obi-Wan still think about his parents, or would they be the anonymous people that gave him life. I know I want what is best for him, but is setting him upon the path of a Jedi really a safe one?

I know that Jedi put their lives on the line just about everyday. They fight against innumerable odds and oftentimes are able to get out once more. But they are still mortal and can be killed. I know the Force will guide and protect Obi-Wan in life, but what if it misleads him to his death? I don't know if I would ever be able to forgive myself if he ended up dying a early death, when we could have prevented it all along by not sending him to the Jedi.

As a mother it is my instinctual responsibility to take care of him, but to put him into the unknown I know would hurt so very deeply. I'm so very afraid of the decision I will have to make. I hope Ben and I will be strong enough to be able to cope with this type of loss.

Obi-Wan will still be our son, but it will feel to us as if he has passed on. I know it is the ultimate act of love to let a child go to the Jedi Temple, but I can't help feeling selfish and want to keep him here in my home to raise him as my own. I know the answers but my heart doesn't agree, I don't want to make this choice. Why did my son have to be the Force sensitive one…but there I go sounding selfish again.

I wouldn't want to change Obi-Wan in any way, but I know that should he go to the Temple I will always wonder what my son is up to. It will hurt should he come home to visit one day and I see him grown up into a fine young man…and I wasn't there to see it.

I really need to stop thinking of this for now. At the moment Obi-Wan is still here, and I must spend as much time with him as possible. After all time draws closer to when I know my love and devotion to my child will be put to the test.

Entry 110

I've finally told Ben the news, he found it very hard to believe. The medic had given me the test results of Obi-Wan's midichlorian count, and Ben didn't believe until I had shown them to him. It's strange to think that the child of our flesh has the potential for such great power.

Ben is quite disappointed by the recent turn of events. He had wanted a son so bad that it hurts to think when we have one he will soon be gone. Ben has taken work off from now until the time when the Jedi will come, life is too short and we want to savor the moment until our family will be torn apart.

AN: I would like to give a big THANK YOU to my wonderful reviewers for their continuing inspiration: whatevergirl, mrsphantom1029, Kestrel of Valinor, snowwolftioga, and Obi-wan359. Next chapter coming soon.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own Obi-Wan or anything else Star Wars, all I own is my computer and car and I'm still paying those off.

**A Mother's Tale**

**Chapter 6**

Entry 111

Word has gotten out that Obi-Wan is Force sensitive and suddenly the Kenobi family is popular. Since there hasn't been a Force sensitive child on my world in years, Obi-Wan is talked about by everyone, our local Holo Net isn't making anything easier. We have been called repeatedly, neighbors I've never seen before have to come to call. I wish they would all just leave us alone; we certainly don't need this now. We already have such little time to be with Obi-Wan, these distractions make it so much harder to cope with.

Time and time again I'm battling with myself, with my emotions. I wish in a way that none of this happened. I know the Force is a energy field that controls life, but why did it have to pick my son? But then I get upset with myself because I know that the Force probably has something special planned for my boy. I'm just going to miss him so dearly it will feel like a wound.

Entry 112

We have received word that a Jedi Knight is on his way here to speak with us. He should be arriving 2 days. 2 more days left with my dear Obi-Wan, I pray I will be strong enough. I know so little about Jedi, about the life he will go through. If Obi-Wan were to grow up in my home I would be able to see it and know day by day. I'm not going to have that privilege.

I went to see my mother today, and she totally doesn't understand what I am going through. I told her that Obi-Wan was Force sensitive and that the Jedi were going to take and train him. She replied that if I was so upset about it then I should just not let the Jedi take him. But she doesn't understand, I'm doing this for Obi-Wan out of the love I have for him. I'm not going to let him miss this opportunity in life, no matter how much it will kill me. My son is so very special to me, but I have no doubt he will be just as special to the world. After all, he is a Kenobi.

Entry 113

A new thought crossed my mind today and once more I feel depressed to say the least. I was thinking about Obi-Wan and if he will ever come back to visit us. I know that is something that will be incredibly hard. Seeing a handsome young stranger enter my home and have to keep telling myself that he is my son. To hear all about his life as a Jedi, and know I can't witness it. I think that will feel the worst out of anything to not see Obi-Wan grow up. And do I really know that he will ever visit me?

Entry 114

Today the Jedi will arrive and I can't help but have a deep sense of fear. What I have I gotten myself into, not to mention my infant son? He doesn't have to be a Jedi, right? I continue to argue with myself which is doing me no good whatsoever. Who am I fooling, I'm not about to take this opportunity away from my son, he deserves the chance to become a Jedi.

I have cleaned the house from top to bottom; I have prepared tea and snacks for our guests. Hardest of all was packing Obi-Wan's baby bag for his journey. Ben is now changing Obi-Wan as I write this currently we are waiting for the Jedi to arrive. I wish that I could stop time, just to have a moment that will last forever with my family together.

Entry 115

It has happened, Obi-Wan is gone for good. He will be trained as a Jedi and that is final. The Jedi finally arrived my hopes that they would be sidetracked was dashed, but then again they ARE Jedi. They're were two Jedi, a master and his apprentice. The older one was named Qui-Gon Jinn and his apprentice was named Xanatos I think. I had a recording rod that I put in my pocket during the interview, so I will recount exactly what was said here as well as what was happening at that particular moment.

"Ben they are here," I said nervously to my husband Ben had came out carrying Obi-Wan and looked decidedly nervous, I'm sure I looked the same. He handed Obi-Wan to me before reaching for the door. There they were, two Jedi and looking just the way I would imagine them to. Both carried themselves with pride yet humility if that were possible. The older one had long hair, beard and a warm smile; his young apprentice had jet black hair and dark blue eyes, a thin braid on one side of his head, and looked bored to say the least.

"Welcome honorable Jedi," Ben said politely making a short bow. I held onto my son, thinking how I didn't know how much longer I would even be able to hold my son.

"Thank you, I am Qui-Gon Jinn and this is my Padawan Xanatos," the older Jedi replied.

"Please come in," my husband said while letting the Jedi in. "I am Ben Kenobi and this is my wife Rella, and our son Obi-Wan."

"Thank you for coming," I managed to say, though I personally didn't think it sounded like my voice.

"We are glad to be of service," Qui-Gon answered and then his attention turned to the gurgling, smiling 1 month old in my arms. "May I hold him?" the Jedi Master asked.

I didn't want to hand my son to a complete stranger, but Qui-Gon seemed like such a friendly and compassionate person that I didn't hesitate. Qui-Gon took Obi-Wan in his arms and looked at him thoughtfully for a moment. Finally he spoke again. "There is no doubt, your son is strong in the Force. He would make a excellent candidate for becoming a Jedi," he said.

I took a deep breath, and Ben's hand found mine and gave a gentle squeeze. I found my voice once more and I spoke the words I had dreaded saying. "Then we can't take that opportunity from Obi-Wan," I said.

"Yes, as much as we love Obi-Wan, we know this is the right thing," Ben said beside me.

"He will be well taken care of, I can assure you of that," Qui-Gon said, glancing down at the baby in his arms. At that very moment however Obi-Wan hiccupped and spit up on Qui-Gon's tunic. Qui-Gon glanced down at the mess. "Not to worry, white is too bland anyways." He said.

We all got a good chuckle out of that one, but it was short lived. I got something for Qui-Gon to clean his tunic and then took Obi-Wan back into my arms.

At this point the recording rod stopped for some reason. The next few hours that followed were the hardest of my entire life. We must have asked the Jedi a million different questions, but they patiently answered us. And then before we knew it he was gone.

I'm wonder where Obi-Wan is now, probably traveling in hyperspace somewhere between here and Coruscant. I hope he is alright, that he is not missing me. I don't think he will even remember me, but Qui-Gon had assured me that at times the Younglings were allowed to visit their families. As hard as this has been for me I know what I must do now, I must lock my feelings for Obi-Wan in the deepest part of my heart, only to be released when my son returns home to me.

AN: Sorry for the extreme lateness of this, thank you for being patient with me. I wish to thank my amazing reviewers Kestrel of Valinor, whatevergirl, Lea-El, and Ann Jinn.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: The only thing I own in this story is Obi's family. Everything else I'm borrowing from Lucas.

**A Mother's Tale**

**Chapter 7**

11 MONTHS LATER

Entry 275

Today marks Obi-Wan's first birthday, and I am not able to celebrate it with him. Everyday since he has been gone I've tried not to think about how Obi-Wan was taken in by the Jedi. I've tried so hard to forget him. He is not part of my life anymore, but my heart refuses to let go. Ben had a hard time coping at first like me, but he has moved on, he has accepted it. For me; I'm wondering if that will ever happen.

A MONTH LATER 

Entry 300

It was a year ago today that I learned that my first born son was special; that he was Force sensitive. That was one of the hardest times of my life, and today I'm a bit melancholy because of it. I hope he is coping well, all that distance away in Coruscant.

I wonder about it almost everyday. Has he learned to walk yet? Or talk? Does he look even more like his father now? These questions I know won't be answered. For the Jedi don't believe in attachments, and that means I have very little means to find out.

4 MONTHS LATER

Entry 374

It has happened again. I'm pregnant once more, and I nearly cried. I'm of course very happy to once more be carrying a child. On the other hand I'm concerned, what if my second baby is Force sensitive as well? I was able to part with Obi-Wan, could I do it again? Of course that is not what I should be feeling. After all, it is an honor for any child to be accepted into the Jedi. I'm afraid though; I want to watch my next baby grow up. To do all the things I imagined I would be doing with Obi-Wan now. Most of all I want to be a mother, not one in name only.

Ben was quite excited when I told him of my pregnancy. He also is concerned that the next baby will be Force sensitive. Obi-Wan was a miracle baby, to be the first Kenobi to ever be Force sensitive. Ben doubts that our next baby will be the same. How often could that happen anyways? As often as the Force wills it, I suppose. Still, we have tried not to let our worries affect our happiness. Regardless, we are still having a baby, and that is always a blessing.

Entry 500

My child was born yesterday once more I have a beautiful son. As before the extreme feelings of happiness and worry have overcome me. Our son's name is Owen, and he looks so much like his brother and father. I didn't mention it, but my heart is so very heavy. I don't want to think of the day I will take Owen in for his check up. As proud as I am of Obi-Wan becoming a Jedi, I'm still very selfish.

Being a mother again has given me a joy I once forgot. My family has become pests, always wanting to see or talk about our new arrival. They want to know if Owen is Force sensitive, the one question we'd rather them not speak about. They were all somewhat disappointed when Obi-Wan was taken in by the Jedi, yet they are also proud that a Kenobi will someday become a jedi Knight. But I have no answer for them and I wish they would stop asking. For if I only have a month with Owen I want to make each moment count.

Entry 524

Owen goes in for his examination today and I can't help but feel nervous. Butterflies buzz around in my stomach like mad. I don't think that Owen will be like Obi-Wan , but I can't possibly be sure. I do know that Owen hasn't done any strange tricks to get his bottle like his brother once did. I can't stop the inevitable and my son needs me, I will write more later.

Entry 545

I didn't realize I was holding my breath the whole time of the examination; that is, until I realized I was having a hard time breathing as the doctor announced the results. I held Owen close in my arms, utterly terrified that it might be the last time.

"Mrs. Kenobi, we just received the results of young Owen's tests," the doctor said.

"And?" I asked in a quiet voice. 

"Your son is in perfect health," the doctor said with a smile.

"Good, but what about the midichlorian test?" I forced myself to ask.

"Sorry to disappoint you Mrs. Kenobi, but there won't be another Jedi on your family," he explained.

My Owen won't become a Jedi, I'm so thankful. It makes the pain of loosing  
Obi-Wan lessen; I think I can move on now. I gave my first son to the Jedi, but the second I will be able to raise like I imagined doing with Obi-Wan.

AN: I wish to send out a BIG thanks to Ann Jinn, whatevergirl, and Kestrel of Valinor for their lovely reviews. This story IS going to be continued up through the Clone Wars, and I apologize once more for the lateness. Thank you!


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: The only thing I own in this story is Obi's family. Everything else I'm borrowing from Lucas.

**A Mother's Tale**

**Chapter 8**

5 YEARS LATER

Entry 2700

I can hardly believe I'm saying this, but Obi-Wan is coming home! I feel like I can walk on air; I can't wait to see my eldest son. I can hardly believe I'm going to be seeing him again. But, will I even recognize him? He's been raised in the Jedi Temple; will he seem like a stranger wearing my eyes? Will he even get along with us? I'm scared to even think about his homecoming. What if it goes badly?

It will be hard seeing a six year old Obi-Wan, and know that I wasn't there those six years with him. He will probably speak with a Coruscanti accent and be full of Jedi wisdom. He won't be anything like his brother, or the rest of us for that matter. He will be a different person than he would if he grew up under my roof.

It will feel like Obi-Wan is coming home to stay, but I know that all too briefly he will be sent back to the Jedi Temple. As much as I don't like to think it, the Temple is Obi-Wan's home and always will be. I don't want to be strangers with my son, but I'm afraid to grow too attached to him again. I'm afraid of the pain I'm sure I will feel seeing him leave again. How is a mother supposed to cope? I almost don't want the day to come.

Entry 2705

Obi-Wan is coming home today! A Jedi Master is to drop him off within the hour. For two whole weeks I will have my son back; I'm just afraid that time is going to go by much too quickly. The anticipation of his return is driving me nuts, so I've been distracting myself with cleaning the house from top to bottom. Ben doesn't seem himself either; he's very quiet today. I feel I can slice the tension in the air, I've never been good at waiting.

We told Owen that his brother is coming home today, and that just caused him to ask a million questions. He wanted to know where his brother is and why he's there. I told him that his brother is at the Jedi Temple, and that it's a sort of special school. Owen wanted to know if he can go there too, and when I told him no, he wanted to know why. I didn't want to even talk about this to Owen, but I couldn't ignore my sun. It tore me up when he asked that last question, for there was a chance he could have been born with the same abilities Obi-Wan has.

Entry 2706

I'm so happy right now, Obi-Wan is home! As promised, a Jedi Master delivered Obi-Wan to us, and I wanted nothing more that to gather him up in big hug and cover him with kisses. Obi-Wan was a bit apprehensive about meeting us at first, but I could understand why he would be. I will say this, it's a very strange experience having to introduce yourself to your own child. It hurt like I never would've imagined it would, yet my smile never wavered. I won't let Obi-Wan know my sorry, he deserves to enjoy his time to the fullest.

I'm very pleased to see that Obi-Wan appears healthy and happy. He already dresses like a Jedi, and has a braid hanging down one side of his head. As I imagined, he looks like a Kenobi: the same reddish blonde hair that his father and brother have. The Jedi seem to be raising him well; he's a very well mannered boy.

Owen pounced on him at once, asking a million questions as little boys do. I had the recording rod in my pocket again, so I'm going to relay it all here.

"Obi-Wan!" exclaimed Owen. I think my youngest son was so excited for a playmate, and somehow had it in his mind that Obi-Wan had come home to stay. So therefore he couldn't stop pestering his brother.

"Yes?" Obi-Wan asked curious.

"Where did you go?" Owen pressed his brother.

"The Jedi Temple." Obi-Wan answered casually.

"Why?" Owen asked confused, never having heard of such a place.

"I'm a Jedi." Obi-Wan said proudly.

"What's a Jedi?" Owen questioned.

"Jedi use the Force. They help people, but I'm not a Jedi Knight yet." Obi-Wan explained. I'm sure the poor boy was probably distressed by now, being interrogated like that.

"When will you be one?" Owen asked.

Obi-Wan shrugged his shoulders at this point.

"Are you staying here forever now?" Owen asked hopefully.

"I have to go back in two weeks," Obi-Wan answered, causing his little brother to frown sadly.

"You don't want to be here?" Owen asked in a pleading voice.

"It's not that. I'm going to be a Jedi so I have to go back."

At this point, Ben came up and ended the questioning, showing Obi-Wan to his room with Owen tagging along. I took the opportunity to come to my room and write. I'm so incredibly thrilled that our family is together again, but the day he returns will be hard. I've decided I'm going to try not to worry about it, and I'm going to take things one day at a time.

Entry 2712

Today was a wonderful day; I'm so content I feel I could burst. Obi-Wan is now adjusted to being home, and he's begun to tell us his stories of living in the Jedi Temple. Just hearing about his classes made me tired, the Jedi path certainly sounds like a hard one. I know that our choice to send him to the Temple was the right one; Obi-Wan is so happy to be there. I truly am happy for my son, and proud of all he has accomplished so far.

Ben is thrilled to finally have both of his sons home. They went on a fishing trip yesterday, and managed to bring home several fish. I'm glad the men in my life got to spend some time together, for before we know it, Obi-Wan will be gone.

The rest of the family is certainly ecstatic to see Obi-Wan again. I got several messages on my comlink the other day, asking when they could see him. I called them all back inviting them to a party later in the week. I've at least been able to protect my son from the questions for a little while longer.

AN: I want to thank my lovely readers for their reviews and for being patient with me. I promise to try and post more frequently this summer.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: The only thing I own in this story is Obi's family. Everything else I'm borrowing from Lucas.

**A Mother's Tale**

**Chapter 9**

Entry 2713

We went on a picnic today, and I think it was one of the most enjoyable days in my life. Last night, before Ben and I went to bed, he got the idea to go for a picnic in the nearby mountains. We decided to surprise the boys, so I prepared the food and put it in the back of our aged landspeeder before waking Obi-Wan and Owen. 

Owen was full of questions, like: where we were going, why we were going, and how come we had to get up so early. Ben chuckled and replied, "Follow your nose". I think Obi-Wan eagerly wanted to know our destination as well, but silently took in the scenery as we went.

Luckily, it was a beautiful day, and I think the mountains of Frenton are some of the most spectacular of any planet. The way the light shone off the rocks made them look like they were glittering jewels. I grew up in a nearby village, so it felt like home to me. Having my family together, multiplied that feeling exponentially.

Obi-Wan and Owen enjoyed exploring the forest with Ben, while I spread out our picnic in the meadow. The rest of the day was spent exploring, eating, and enjoying each other's company. Owen is now firmly attached to his elder brother's hip, and Obi-Wan enjoyed acting like a big brother for a change. I think he enjoys the change of being home; not having a set schedule every day. 

Entry 2717

I am utterly exhausted right now, but I'm happy to say that the party went fairly well. The family swarmed around. Obi-Wan all night and I think he was uncomfortable about the entire thing. Still, he never complained once, and regaled them with stories of the Jedi for a couple hours. Luckily, Ben saved him then, and told him to go outside and play with Owen and his cousins.

I am greatly relieved that the party is over, and I'm sure everyone else is too. I may love my extended family dearly, but I'm not used to being smothered in a crowd. I'm glad Obi-Wan got to see everyone, because that might be the only time they will see my Jedi son. 

Entry 2720

Tomorrow, my eldest son will return to the Jedi; I know I'm going to cry. I almost feel worse now than I did the first time I let Obi-Wan go. Now that I've gotten the opportunity to get to know my amazing son, I don't want to let him go. I wish I could keep him here for always instead of returning him to the Temple. I must continually remind myself that it is an honor for my son to be a Jedi, and I can't stop him for what destiny has picked for him.

Right now I'm watching Obi-Wan and Owen sharing some muja fruit, how innocent and carefree they are right now. Owen doesn't believe Obi-Wan is leaving tomorrow, despite the fact we have told him this. He seems to think his brother is going to be here forever now, but that of course isn't so. I know Owen will take it hard, but I will have to let go of my own pain in order to attend to my son's. If only this didn't have to happen.

Entry 2721 

Obi-Wan is gone now, and I've tried to let him go from my heart once more. Training myself that I only have one son now, is so extremely hard to do again. As I predicted, Owen was upset; he just cried himself to sleep. I will have to speak with him more tomorrow. Ben was quite sulky tonight, locking himself into his study, so here I am pouring my heart out to this datapad once more.

When the Jedi Master came back to retrieve Obi-Wan, we all found it very hard to say goodbye. Luckily, the Master was kind enough to give us a chance to say our goodbyes. Ben held onto him for a long while, before planting a kiss on his cheek. Owen cried as he hugged his brother, and then stormed out of the room. Finally, it was my turn to say goodbye for hopefully not the last time.

I found my mouth suddenly full of cotton as I tried to find my voice. Obi-Wan's eyes filled with tears as he clung to my linen shirt. I moved down and put my cheek against his. Finding my voice, the only thing I could say to my son was, "I carry you always." He nodded and finally we separated and Obi-Wan left with the other Jedi. I let my son go again, and I reflected on what I told him. For he will always remain in my heart, and I must never forget it.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: The only thing I own in this story is Obi's family. Everything else I'm borrowing from Lucas.

**A Mother's Tale**

**Chapter 10**

10 YEARS LATER

Entry 5221

It has now been ten years to the day since I last saw my eldest son. It's as if it was all a dream, and I never really gave him up to the Jedi. It feels like it was just a bad dream, and I never gave a child to the Jedi. It's as if Obi-Wan didn't exist, except for in my mind. Only my heart still reminds me that he is still there; I've not forgotten him and I doubt I ever will.

I can only imagine what Obi-Wan is doing nowadays, though it's probably best not to know. If I did, I'm sure I would be worrying about him constantly. I haven't seen him since he was a six year old child; he's sixteen now. My Obi-Wan is becoming a man, and I'm not there to see it.

Though I haven't seen my Jedi son in 10 years, I have fortunately gotten world of his well being. Ben and I have received word from the Jedi Temple that he is doing well. Obi-Wan was selected as a Padawan (I believe that's the Jedi word for apprentice) by a Jedi Master, and is now well on the path to becoming a Jedi Knight. I'm very proud of my son; I just wish I could see him. I hate to admit it, but I envy the Jedi Master who gets to train Obi-Wan.

I should stop complaining about what I cannot change; I do have much to be thankful for. Owen is growing into a fine young man, and I'm sure he's going to follow in his father's footsteps someday. Ben is still the most amazing husband, and I'm glad to have found him. My family is the most important thing in my life.

It is a shame that Frenton has been having so many problems lately. When the government center was attacked by an irate faction of the city; fear spread to every heart and home. I try to disregard it, but the truth is I'm afraid too. I don't think there will be too long until full scale fighting will break out. I can't help feeling sure that this will happen very soon.

Entry 5240

Today the most incredible thing happened, I finally saw Obi-Wan again! It was such a shock, that I'm still reeling from it. The day started as any other; it was my house cleaning day, so I almost didn't hear the bell ring. I was so incredibly shocked to see two Jedi standing at the door. Both had an air of familiarity around them. I looked at the older Jedi first, and wondered if I was imagining things. It looked like the same Jedi who took Obi-Wan as a baby. Then I looked at the younger one, and though I haven't seen him in a decade, I still recognized him instantly.

I couldn't resist drawing my son into a tremendous hug, even before I greeted them. Obi-Wan hesitated only a second before embracing me; there was nothing I could do to stop tears from falling down my cheek. I managed to utter a greeting then, and welcomed them inside.

Both bowed and then entered; Jedi are always so polite. My assumption is correct; the Jedi Master is Qui-Gon Jinn, the same Jedi who took Obi-Wan as a baby. Strange that he is now the person training Obi-Wan to be a Jedi. I'm guessing that the padawan he was with last time must be a Jedi Knight now.

I found that it was incredibly hard to take my eyes off my son, so long have I wanted to see him again. Obi-Wan is most definitely growing up, a lightsaber is on his belt and he has a most serious expression on his face. It is obvious that he respects Qui-Gon deeply, and is totally devoted to the Jedi Order. I'm proud that he is my son. 

Qui-Gon explained that they just completed a mission here, and were waiting a couple of hours until their transport could take them back to Coruscant. I'm happy to know that the Jedi know of our continuing struggle here, and I'm glad that my son is helping to bring peace to this world again. Obi-Wan wasn't here for that long, but I did my best to make the most of it.

Obi-Wan is most definitely a Jedi; he wears the padawan braid, Jedi tunics and a utility belt with various equipment on it, including his lightsaber. He truly looks like a young Ben, or Owen for that matter. Qui-Gon has aged a bit, but still looks nearly identical to the Jedi I met years ago.

Presently, Ben arrived home with Owen, having picked him up from school. Both were overwhelmed to see Obi-Wan again. The two of them collected the wayward family member in a group hug. I think Ben was crying, and Owen was extremely pleased to see the brother who he looked up to as a child.

Isn't it a pity that time always flies when you don't want it to? The five of us talked for at least three hours, telling stories and anecdotes to pass the time. I regaled them with the story of Obi-Wan puking on Qui-Gon so many years ago, and I must say the look on the Jedi Master's face was priceless. I don't think he quite remembered until I said it, that it was indeed Obi-Wan who regurgitated his breakfast on him.

I won't lie and say it didn't hurt to see my son leave again, but I'm feeling much better about it. Obi-Wan is living the life he wants, and I'm happy for him. Qui-Gon seems more like a father to him, than a teacher. I can tell they both care deeply for one another. I don't have a connection to the all powerful Force, but I think it would be safe to say that their friendship will take them far.


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: The only thing I own in this story is Obi's family. Everything else I'm borrowing from Lucas.

**A Mother's Tale**

**Chapter 11**

SEVEN YEARS LATER

Entry 7300

It's finally come down to it; this morning Ben and I became Frenton's newest refuges. I didn't want this day to come, but I knew that things were never going to get better on my world. The civil war that began seven years ago continues to rage; it's become a dangerous place to live. It was extremely hard for us to leave, but our choices were so limited. 

We've decided to move to the planet Naboo, a beautiful and peaceful world. I quickly fell in love with this place; the capital at Theed is an architectural triumph and the people made me feel at home instantly. We are living in the capital; our home is a fairly nice but modest little apartment. From our tiny garden, I can see the palace in all its glory. The government is stable on Naboo and has been for many years, I finally feel safe again.

The one thing I still find myself worrying over is my son Owen. He didn't listen to our advice about leaving Frenton; instead he decided to stay and fight in the civil war. He wants nothing more than to come back to us as a war hero, but doesn't realize that all we care about is his well being. I can't help my constant worry for him, and my comlink gets constant use. I only hope Owen will come to understand that fighting won't get him anywhere and that he needs to grow up and settle down. I would love to be a grandparent someday.

TWO YEARS LATER 

Entry 7900

I never would've imagined that coming to the planet Naboo would be such a huge mistake. As of today, I'm living on a planet under a blockade by the notorious Trade Federation. It's funny that we escape our world to avoid things like this. I came to love Naboo, but it's still not my homeworld. I wish I could return, but that will never happen I fear.

Our leader during these hazardous times is Queen Amidala, a young woman who has quite the mind for politics. When I first heard that a fourteen year old girl was running for office, I thought it was a joke. Then I heard this young woman speak; she knows what she is doing and I believe she will be a great leader of Naboo. I wonder what must be going through her mind right now, I couldn't imagine having to bear such a responsibility.

Entry 7902

The worst thing I could imagine has just occurred. The droid armies have just now invaded Naboo. I can hear the metal thud of their footsteps right now, and the whine of their repulsor engines. A moment ago I tried calling Owen on Frenton, but communications were scrambled. My hands are shaking right now, I'm utterly terrified. What is going to happen to us now? I hope our queen has a plan.

Entry 7903

I'm in a cell now, with at least twenty other women. One minute Ben and I were sitting in our home minding our own business, and the next we were being herded out by well armed battle droids. Luckily I had enough sense to put this datapad in my tunic pocket; I don't know what I would do if I didn't have this journal to share my thoughts with.

Entry 7904

I'm sad to say that my situation hasn't improved in the least, in fact it's worse. The battle droids are constantly harassing us, and giving us only a very little to eat and drink. According to the rumors flying about, the Queen escaped Naboo right under the nose of the Trade Federation. I have no clue how or why she did, I only hope she knows what she is doing. I must ask myself one question, how was she able to escape? Even with bodyguards, battle droids are not easy to escape from. Unless they had Jedi assistance, of course.

Depression threatens to overtake me here. Without contact to my son or my husband, the feelings of worry and anger have overcome me. I want to do something, but what can an average woman do against odds such as these. I may be the mother of a Jedi, but that doesn't matter much in the grand scheme of things. I wish Obi-Wan were here right now.

Entry 7905

I didn't have the opportunity to write in this datapad for the last few days, as I didn't want a droid to find it. Now it's all over though; Naboo is free again at last! Yesterday the most remarkable thing happened, some people escaped from the droids. From what I heard, the Queen returned and her guards came to the camp and freed some of the soldiers.

At this point I found everything extremely hard to believe; was our Queen actually crazy enough to return to this captive world? Hours later I found out the truth, she did. It wasn't long before we heard the sounds of a distant battle, not to mention the sounds of a close proximity skirmish going on. Everyone was either terribly excited or agitated and worried. I fell into the latter group.

Sometime later, we heard a lull to the sounds of battle, and then realized that the guard droids in front of our cells were deactivated. A cheer arose, and we were soon freed from our cell. I immediately searched for Ben, so dearly I missed him. When we found one another, we crushed one another on our embrace and I couldn't control the stream of tears flowing down my face. When I was in my husband's arms, worry and fear I was harboring disappeared.

Entry 7906

I'm back in my home, and I finally have a better grasp of the events that just held Naboo in its grasp. It seems the Trade Federation wanted to force Queen Amidala to sign a treaty to make their blockade legal. Some Jedi helped rescue the Queen and escorted her off planet to plead her case to the Senate.

I suppose that didn't help much, as she soon returned to Naboo. She convinced the Gungans (Naboo's other sentient beings) into fighting the droids while pilots knocked out the control towers. I'm just happy that her plan worked, as it could have gone wrong in so many ways.

Then I heard the most shocking news of all. The Jedi that helped the queen were Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi. My son is here on this planet; I can hardly believe it. It makes me feel so proud to know that he helped make a difference here. My son is a hero and I'm very proud of him. If only I could tell him that to his face; I long to see him again.

Entry 7907

I was sad to hear that Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn was killed, my son must be very upset. I remember the master being a very compassionate person, even by Jedi standards. I couldn't forget how much he seemed to care for Obi-Wan, they truly seemed to have a great friendship. I wish I could be there to comfort my son, but he's not a child anymore.

The other thing I felt at hearing that Qui-Gon died was the shock. Jedi are pegged as being nearly invincible beings; hardly ever coming to harm despite the dangers they were exposed to. Yet he died, which makes me wonder how close to death Obi-Wan was. I don't like to think about it, but what he does everyday is not for the faint of heart. I don't know if I would be able to forgive myself if Obi-Wan died, knowing I could've prevented it when he was a baby.

Obi-Wan knows what he is doing I'm sure, but I am a mother. I will always feel concern for him, even if I never do see him again. Tomorrow there is a ceremony and parade at the palace, perhaps he will be there.

Entry 7908

I went to the parade and ceremony that was a celebration of Naboo's new found peace with the Gungan people. Ben and I stood close together on the side of the street, watching as several Gungans went by, one of them highly clumsy. Queen Amidala looked radiant and beautiful as she handed the globe of light over to the Gungan leader. At this point I was tapped on the shoulder by Ben; my gaze followed his pointing finger and my heart nearly stopped. There he was, my Obi-Wan.

He was standing on the same step as the queen, but a few paces away. Obi-Wan didn't look like he was grieving, but I know that Jedi are trained to release emotions. The first thing that struck me about his appearance was the sudden realization that his padawan braid was shorn. Which must mean Obi-Wan is a Jedi Knight now; I'm so proud of him.

I also noticed a young boy standing next to him with a padawan braid. Could this mean that my son is not only a Jedi Knight, but also a Master now?

My eyes didn't leave my son; I wanted to burn this newest vision of him in my mind forever. Then, as if he knew I was looking at him, (I wouldn't be surprised if he did), Obi-Wan seemed to look straight at me, and then he smiled.

AN: I apologize for the extreme lateness of this chapter; real life has been seriously dragging me down. I will do my best to make the next chapter come up much sooner. I would like to thank my wonderful readers and reviewers whose support helps inspire me to write faster. Thank you!


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: The only thing I own in this story is Obi's family. Everything else I'm borrowing from Lucas.

**A Mother's Tale**

**Chapter 12**

TEN YEARS LATER

Entry 11209

All of Naboo was shocked today to discover that our former Queen, Padme Amidala was nearly assassinated. The holonet reported she was going to Coruscant in order to vote on the army creation act, when her ship was destroyed. Luckily, she was smart enough to realize the risk and so her decoy was killed instead of her. Politics may be important, but I can't see why they would be so important as to kill anyone who disagrees with them. I certainly hope she has improved her security efforts.

Entry 11213

Tragedy struck the planet of Geonosis today, and not even Ben can console me. The reports all tell of several Jedi being killed by the droid armies of the Separatists. The world holds Jedi in such high esteem, that to hear of so many casualties, shocked everyone. If these bold and brave warriors are dying in battle, then what does that mean for the rest of us? What does this mean for my Jedi son?

I'm so worried for Obi-Wan, what could be happening to him right now? I know that he's been in and out of danger his entire life; after all he IS a Jedi. To hear of this incident on Geonosis scares me beyond belief. Was he one of those killed? What about his Padawan? Did he know those who died? If my son is alive, then I can only imagine what he must be feeling. It must be incredibly hard on him. I just want to talk to him; I want to hold him as I did when he was a baby.

Entry 11214

I have received a message from Obi-Wan! I couldn't hardly believe it, until I actually saw it for myself. This is what the hologram we received said.

Father and Mother,

As I'm sure you must've heard about the incident on Geonosis, I felt I should let you know that I'm doing well. Don't worry for me, I have the Force as my ally. Take care, as I fear this conflict won't end anytime soon. I hope you and Owen are all well, I miss you all.

Obi-Wan

I can't say how relieved I was to see this; Obi-Wan wasn't harmed and he hasn't forgotten about his family. That warmed my heart more than I can express.

Entry 11212

The holonet is calling it the Clone Wars, because apparently the Republic now has a force of clone troopers. It sounds fishy to me, but I'm happy the Republic has a fighting force. I thought that when Naboo was invaded ten years ago that it was the absolute worst thing that could happen. Well I was wrong. Since the Clone Wars began, nothing has been the same. War is the most horrible abomination; I'm saddened that it has taken over the galaxy. Nothing and nowhere is safe anymore.

While I'm very happy that Ben and I have had a good life here on Naboo, we still miss our homeworld dearly. The civil war that ravaged the planet has ended, but I'm not sure that it won't start again. Owen still refuses to move to Naboo with us, but he has at least settled down. He now has a son and daughter of his own; I finally got my wish for grandchildren. If only they were here now, how I worry for them all everyday.

As for the events that have overtaken the galaxy I can only pray that it will be extremely short lived. Wars that ravage a single planet are bad enough, but a galaxy wide war is terrifying. From what Ben was telling me there is a Separatist movement headed up by Count Dooku, who I was told is a former Jedi. Planets all over are falling to the Separatists side and even the dreaded Trade Federation is involved. I have a very bad feeling about this.

AN: Well I've actually come up with another update in less than week. Hopefully this makes up for my lateness before at least a little bit. Once more thanks to all my wonderful readers and reviewers:-)


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: The only thing I own in this story is Obi's family. Everything else I'm borrowing from Lucas.

**A Mother's Tale**

**Chapter 13**

TWO YEARS LATER

Entry 123015

Looking back at the entries I made right before the outbreak of the Clone Wars, I must say my expectations were right on. These last two and a half years have been atrocious; the loss of life is innumerable. Hope is a thin thread shared only by the few; most people are resigned to their fate, but I'm one of the few who still believes in a safe and free Republic. Above all I trust the Jedi. 

The first time I saw Obi-Wan on the holonet, I couldn't stop the swell of pride I felt. Then I continued to see him and it wasn't long before the name Obi-Wan Kenobi became a household name. I'm incredibly proud of him; my son has become an extraordinary Jedi even by their standards.

The holonet reporters call him The Negotiator, because he is able to resolve conflicts without violence. Obi-Wan is not just a Jedi Knight now, but also a Master. I've heard that he is now on the Jedi Council; even with my limited knowledge of the Jedi, I know that the Council is reserved for the best. He is General Kenobi, as he leads others into battle. My baby boy is one of the most influential people in the galaxy.

Being the mother of the Negotiator is not that easy, as some might think. Any time I use my credit chip at the market, the cashier gives a double take whenever he sees the last name Kenobi.

Some joke about the coincidence of my name being the same as Obi-Wan's, others ask me the 'do you know him' question. If I answer correctly then I'm hounded with a million questions, so I've taken to telling them there is no relation. When I say it, the knife wound in my heart grows deeper. 

As I've already said, I'm very proud of Obi-Wan's achievements as a Jedi. I still am a mother however; so I can't help being constantly worried. He does all these terrifyingly dangerous acts of courage, that he somehow is able to come out of alive. I see it on the holonet, and the whole time I'm on pins and needles. I don't want to watch it, because I know the fear and worry will grow, but I fear I might miss something important if I don't.

Besides Obi-Wan, the holonet reporters are flocking to his old apprentice, Anakin Skywalker. I'm sure that was the little boy I saw with Obi-Wan those many long years ago here on Naboo. Anakin is called The Hero With No Fear, as he often gets himself caught in the most precarious of situations. Obi-Wan tags along, and seems to play the part of the bait on more than one occasion. Why do I get the feeling that boy is going to be the death of my son?

Owen eventually decided to move his family to Naboo, when Frenton was won by the Separatists. He lives close by, and is working for the Naboo government. There is one less worry for me day to day.

Ben is still getting around all right, despite the fact that his age is just beginning to catch up with him. He is fortunate that he is still fairly healthy for his age; must be those persistent Kenobi genes.

As for myself, I feel the weight of my years every single day. When I look in the mirror, the face I see doesn't look like the one I once knew. The time has gone by too fast, the prime of my life gone as if in a dream. I'm no longer the naïve wife I was when I married Ben; now my heart and mind are scarred with a pain nobody should share. 

The saddest part is that it isn't just the elderly that have aged; this war has caused too many young people to grow up faster than they should.

I'm not sure what is going on in the Senate these days, but I'm getting very concerned. It seems to me that the more this war drags on, the more deliberation the Senate does. I know the Supreme Chancellor has our best interests, but sometimes it seems like he doesn't put those emergency powers to good use. I was never a politician, so can I be totally sure they aren't doing a good job? 

War is such a terrible affair, and I can't help but ask myself: will it ever end? I'm beginning to doubt that it will. Everyone has changed because of this war, and not for the good. Take the Jedi for example: they are generals leading troops into battle. They are spread out thinly throughout the galaxy; this worries me. Even Jedi aren't spared fatalities. Whenever the war does end, I can't help but worry that it still won't be over.

Entry 123017

Today I had a most interesting encounter. I happened to be shopping in the market, when I happened upon Jobal Naberrie. She is the mother of Padme Amidala, the senator and former queen. Here is what happened, as best I can remember it.

I was at the muja fruit stand buying two of them, when my last name was recognized again.

"Kenobi," the fruit seller said, reading the name on my credit chip. The man chuckled. "Let me guess you're a relative of that Jedi guy, right?" he said, with evident sarcasm in his voice.

I didn't answer as he handed me the chip back and the bag of fruit. I just nodded to the man and turned away, not willing to fight the reporters today. I made my way briskly through the market, and heard a voice behind me.

"Excuse me," said a woman walking closer to me. She looked to be at least ten years younger than myself, with brown hair and eyes. I stopped and turned to face her.

"Yes?" I asked curiously, though I think with a little impatience too.

"I couldn't help but overhear him back there. Are you really related to Obi-Wan Kenobi?" she asked, smiling.

I sighed. "As a matter of fact, Obi-Wan is my son," I replied.

"Well then, I wish to thank you," the lady responded.

I was taken aback, not understanding what she was getting at. A moment later I figured it out. Thanks for giving your son to the Jedi, thanks for giving us hope. I've heard it all before. Not that I didn't appreciate it, the comments pierced the untouched part of my heart that I've been trying to protect all these years.

I think she understood my hesitation, for she spoke again before I could reply. "Your son helped protect my daughter, for that I'm thankful," the woman said.

It wasn't long before the two of us were talking like old friends, I'm happy to have found a new one. It seems that Jobal's story is similar to mine in some ways. She wanted her daughter Padme to live a peaceful life; to one day get married and have kids. Only Padme decided to become a politician, which placed her in danger on many occasions.

Jobal told me that Obi-Wan and his padawan were the Jedi sent to protect Padme when the Trade Federation wanted her dead. That was why she wanted to thank me, since she never met Obi-Wan. I told her my story, about how we lived on Frenton for years until the civil war forced us to move to Naboo. About how I haven't seen my son in over a decade, and now I'm getting noticed for the son I hardly know.

Both of us gave our children up to public service, and our children are important to the Republic. We know that we couldn't stop them even if we wanted to; for that isn't how things are supposed to be. My Obi-Wan will never stop being a Jedi, just as Jobal's daughter Padme is a politician to the core. We are mothers, and despite everything they will still be our children and we will love them no matter the cost.

AN: Sorry this chapter is so late, but I hope you enjoyed it. Thanks to all my wonderful reviewers!


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: The only thing I own in this story is Obi's family. Everything else I'm borrowing from Lucas.

**A Mother's Tale**

**Chapter 20**

ALMOST A YEAR LATER

Entry 123267

Today marks the lowest point the Republic has seen in the Clone Wars. When I awoke today, Ben was avidly watching the holo; a look of mild consternation on his face. I sat down next to him and saw the report detailing General Grievous's newest attack; on Coruscant of all places. I couldn't believe it was actually happening. If the heart of the Republic is vulnerable, then what will happen when the Separatists go after a harmless planets like Naboo?

Ben held me as I cried; it seems he's been doing that quite a bit lately. We both watched as the battle raged on; Republic starships taken down by vulture droids and the giant cruisers shooting brightly colored turbolaser beams at one another. My heart when went out to the poor pilots whose lives ended in a brief flash of flame.

Later, on the same day, my grandchildren came over for a visit while their parents worked. Mak, my grandson is now seven and his sister Adira is five. They remain perhaps one of the few joys left to the old woman I've become. It warms my heart to see these two young children play; they are so innocent, not knowing about the horrors of this war. They are very fortunate to live on a world such as Naboo, for Frenton remains more of a battleground than a home.

My grandchildren were busy playing some imaginary childish game, while I watched the newest holonet report. To my utter disbelief the holonet reporter explained that Supreme Chancellor Palpatine was kidnapped by the Separatists. I couldn't contain myself this time, despite the fact that I didn't want to break down in front of my grandchildren. 

"What's wrong, Gramma?" said little Adira, climbing up on my lap.

For a moment I debated on the best response to answer her. "I'm just worried, dear," I said simply. 

"Don't be sad, Gramma, Uncle Obi will save the day," she said, patting my hand.

The only thing I could do was pull Adira into a hug; she was right. I couldn't lose hope. My son Obi-Wan, and the rest of the Jedi are out there right now. There is no way they will let the Supreme Chancellor go without a fight. The question is will they be too late?

Entry 123268

I have incredible news from Coruscant! Chancellor Palpatine was saved by none other than my son and Anakin Skywalker. Little Adira knew it all along; I'm surprised she's not Force sensitive. The other part of the report was to announce that Count Dooku, leader of the Separatist forces was killed. This is the best news I've heard in a long time. 

It's worrisome to think of my son facing down that dangerous man, and coming out alive. The prowess of the Jedi, never continues to amaze me. Now that Dooku is dead, perhaps that will mean that this war is almost at an end. I certainly hope that is the case, for I'm so tired of hearing reports of bloodshed and loss.

From what I've gathered, the next target for the Republic is to capture or kill General Grievous. I don't know much about the individual in question, but what I have heard scares me. He is a cyborg, with a small part of him actual living tissue. He has also killed several Jedi, using their lightsabers against them. This monstrosity is a violation of nature; unfortunately he's still at large.

Entry 123281 

Recent events in the Senate have started to concern me greatly in the last week or so. I'm no politician and I wouldn't claim to know the intricacies that the Senate is involved in, but I'm really beginning to wonder if they have our best interests in mind. More and more direct power is being given to the Supreme Chancellor. I've been told that this is to effect swift change, but that sounds more like a dictatorship than democracy to me.

Jobal told me that her daughter has some of the same feelings regarding the Supreme Chancellor's new powers. She said that Padme and some other senators were trying to talk with Palpatine about it, but from what I can tell nothing has been done about it. What is this Republic becoming? 

Entry 123289

I've long felt that I couldn't be prouder of Obi-Wan than what I already am, but once more my son has proven me wrong. The newest report on the holonet is that Obi-Wan defeated the dreaded General Grievous. It's amazing to think that where so many other Jedi have failed, my son has conquered. If only I could tell him how proud I was of him. One thing I'm sure of though, Obi-Wan would tell me that he was only doing his job.

Entry 123306

I can hardly begin to express the emotions coursing through my body right now. The unthinkable has become reality in the most grotesque way imaginable. The war is finally over. I've been waiting for the end for so long, but now I wish it never ended at all. Nobody expected the final conclusion of the deadly Clone Wars, but this stems from where nightmares come from.

The Republic is no more; in place of it, we have The First Galactic Empire. Chancellor Palpatine is now Emperor Palpatine, which confirmed my suspicions that he was up to something this whole time. The speech he gave over the holonet was one that did little to instill reassurance or hope. All it served was to make fear slither down my spine. How can this be happening? I wish this were all a dream.

The worst, the absolute most heinous crime the new Empire has committed was the murder of Jedi. Palpatine claimed that the Jedi were going to rebel, to take over the galaxy. I will not believe this, Jedi only seek to help others. The irony is that the murderers were the very same clones that once served under the Jedi. There were reports of fabled Jedi Masters like Mace Windu and Kit Fisto attempting to murder Palpatine. If this is true, then I'm on the Jedi's side. 

Another horrifying aspect about this attack on the Jedi; even the Jedi Temple was attacked. Everyone from babies to children, to teenagers and adults were senselessly murdered. My heart goes out to all those mothers out there who lost their children because this Empire deemed them dangerous. Not a day into the new Empire's reign and already their hands are stained with innocent blood.

When I first heard of the Jedi genocide, my thoughts went to Obi-Wan, and they remain there still. I don't want to believe it that he is dead, but most likely he has met his doom. I keep thinking back to that day when Qui-Gon Jinn took Obi-Wan to the Jedi Temple, should I have stopped it then? I know he was meant to be a Jedi, but he might've been saved from such a horrible fate.

I know I won't be able to sleep, not until I know he's safe. I can't watch the holo anymore, the ads of anti Jedi propaganda are sure to depress me further. I feel as though a part of my heart has been ripped apart, just like the great Republic I once lived in. A parent should never lose their child, but if he is dead, can't I at least give him a proper burial?


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: The only thing I own in this story is Obi's family. Everything else I'm borrowing from Lucas.

**A Mother's Tale**

**Chapter 15**

Entry 123307

It is ironic to think that these war free days are incredibly worse than the ones during the fighting. Everything has happened so incredibly fast. My head is still spinning from the grief, shock and absolute horror I've been subjected to. Just when I felt things couldn't possible grow worse, a new tragedy reaches me. How much is an old woman supposed to take?

I'm still in mourning for Obi-Wan, yet I haven't truly accepted the fact that he is dead. My son is resourceful and powerful, but even then he could be outmatched. I don't want to think about it, but his body could be lying unforgotten on some unforgiving planet. I wonder if I will ever know what happened to him, but I'm beginning to doubt it.

Entry 123308

Poor Jobal, a horrible tragedy has befallen the Naberrie family. Her beloved daughter Padme has followed the Jedi, and is now dead. All of Naboo is mourning this loss for she was well loved; the funeral is expected to be attended by many.

What makes this even worse is the fact that Padme died pregnant. As a mother, this makes my heart scream out in the agony of it. From what I've heard, she died in before giving birth. It's ironic that we like in a highly advanced society, yet women still die in childbirth. The birth of a child is supposed to be a happy occasion, not noted with the death of both the mother and her child.

I wonder if the baby's father knows what happened to Padme, does he even care? The universe has become such an unforgiving place, that even I fear to know the answers. The galaxy today is not the one I knew as a child. Everything is going to change, and its not for the good. I just wish I didn't have to witness it.

Entry 123310

Today I attended the funeral for Padme Naberrie Amidala, and it was very hard to endure. I stood on the side of the street as the procession bearing Padme went by. The look on Jobal's face was one of absolute grief and hopelessness. She walked with her husband Ruwee, her daughter Sola and Sola's husband and children.

I was very grateful that Ben was standing with me offering his support. He knows how much this has affected me. He simply is the dearest man and the most loving husband I could have ever asked for. My husband held me close as we continued to watch the funeral procession, and then we saw the queen. Queen Apailana's face was painted so that it truly showed how she must be grieving. The whole planet of Naboo will feel the loss for many years to come.

Entry 123315

Today I had the most remarkable visit from Jobal that still has me in shock. When she came it was very lucky that I had my trusty recording rod in my pocket. Since I'm beginning to get more forgetful as I grow older, I've begun to carry the rod with me at all times. It helps me not forget the important things I need to do for the day. Well as I was saying, Jobal visited me. This is what happened.

I was relaxing on my chair when I heard a knock on the door. I remember being very surprised to see Jobal, because I'm sure she still must be grieving for her daughter.

"Hello Jobal, so good of you to visit," I said, embracing my friend.

"Rella I have something to tell you," Jobal said, skipping the formalities.

"Yes?" I asked curiously.

"It's about your son," Jobal stated.

At this point I'm not sure that I really wanted to hear what Jobal said next. I tucked Obi-Wan away deep in my heart, where nothing could breach it. Only my friend could very well be doing that in the next moment. Still I managed to find my voice.

"What about my son?" I asked afraid.

"He's alive," she replied.

At this moment I think I just stared at Jobal, so shocked I was. I didn't know if I wanted it to be true. I've been worrying and hoping so much for Obi-Wan, that Jobal's statement seemed almost too good to be true. Still, I felt my heart dance and rejoice to know that he is at least alive.

"How did you find out?" I asked.

"It's a long story, but I will tell you the gist of what happened. You see, Obi-Wan was at the medical facility where Padme died," she answered.

She saw my very skeptical and questioning glance, and started to explain more. "When Captain Panaka brought Padme's body back, he told me that your son was alive. He knew he could trust me to find you and tell you the news," Jobal explained.

"Why was Obi-Wan there?" I asked confused.

"He was the one who brought her to the medical facility I'm told," was Jobal's reply.

"Are you meaning to say that my son and your daughter...?" I seriously hoped this speculation wasn't true.

"No, I seriously doubt that. We believe that the father of Padme's child is his former apprentice, Anakin Skywalker," Jobal said.

"Really?" I asked.

"Before the Clone Wars, I happened to meet Anakin. A mother can tell when a boy is smitten with her daughter, and when her daughter doesn't want to admit to falling for him in return."

I nodded. Then something else occurred to me. "You just spoke of Padme's child as if it were alive," I stated.

Jobal smiled. "Yes, her baby survived. Padme's body wasn't carrying any unborn children, it was merely made to look like it. I'm telling this to you because I know I can trust you, the Empire must never know this," she said seriously, her face grave.

"The Empire? Why would they care about the baby of a senator?" I questioned once more.

"I'm not sure; I was only told that this is a secret I must take to my grave. You must do so as well my friend," Jobal declared.

"Don't worry, I will keep you confidence," I answered honestly.

My son is alive, I want to shout it to the galaxy! Unfortunately that would have incredibly dire consequences if I did. Ben was very happy to hear that Obi-Wan is alive, though he was confused as to how I learned of it. I told him that Jobal learned of it, but nothing about Padme's mysterious secret. That is not my secret to share to anyone, not even my husband.

I can only imagine what must be going through Obi-Wan's mind and I wish I could be there to comfort him. It must have hurt him dearly to see the Jedi life he knew go up in smoke, like their majestic Temple did on Coruscant. And then there is the thousands of Jedi who died, ranging from Council Masters all the way down to younglings. He must be suffering, but my sincerest wish is that he hasn't lost hope.


	16. Chapter 16

**obiwebb** **Lea-El** **hyperspacepolice** **Tiffanty1** **Veloz**

A Mother's Tale is Complete

Hello! The final part of linkhttp://boards. Mother's Tale/link has now been posted. Thank you for reading:)

Lily

Entry 1

Usually I'm not the sort of person who needs to write down their thoughts and feelings. I usually keep them all bottled up in my mind and heart. But as I move on to an important chapter in my life I feel now is when the memories I have I will want to remember years from now. It feels strange addressing a datapad, but I intend for this to be entirely private. My name is Rella Kenobi, and this is my story.

I've lived on the planet Frenton my whole life, and I've never once left it in fact. I live in the capital city Ryell with my husband Ben Kenobi. Ben works at an office all day and I stay and tend the home. We've only been married for a couple of months so this arrangement is good for us. I'm still in love with Ben just as much today as I was the day I married him.

Now that you know a little about me I will say the important stepping stone of life that has just been put upon me. I found out today that I am pregnant with my first child. The shock hasn't even begun to wear off yet. The idea that just nine months from now, my beautiful little baby will be brought into the world is hard to believe. It seems like just yesterday I was playing with dolls.

Lately I had been having morning sickness though at the time I didn't know that that was it, personally I believed it to be the flu. I didn't want to worry Ben, so I went by myself to the Med Center. It didn't take long for the medic to pronounce me pregnant. In 7 months I will give birth to a baby. The thought excites and terrifies me all at once.

As excited as I am about the new life growing inside me, the nervousness starts. Will I have what it takes to be a good mother; will my baby be healthy when he or she is born? This and more, are the questions that have made me worried all day long. Not to mention the fact that I must soon tell Ben, no doubt he will be surprised. I do know however that he will make a good father, despite the fact that he and I weren't anticipating becoming parents so soon.

Entry 2

Ben arrived home and I finally got up the courage to tell him that I was pregnant. He looked at me shocked for a moment before he pulled me into a kiss and started uttering sweet nothings in my ear. He is thrilled by the prospect of being a father, as I hoped he would be. Ben and I both can't wait to invite the newest Kenobi member to the family.

Now, thoughts of the baby are keeping me up at night so I've decided to write once more in the journal I've begun. I wonder first if the baby will be a boy or a girl and then my second thought is what the baby will look like. In what ways will the baby take after each of us? What kind of person will my baby be in life? All of these I wish to know now, though I also want to wait and take it as it comes. Unlike Ben I lack patience, something I need to work on. Someday soon I will be a mother, and goodness knows I will need patience for that. Ben is telling me to come back to the bed and get some rest, I must go.

Entry 3

Today the shock I felt yesterday hasn't left, but now I'm beginning to get used to the idea. Having a baby will change so many things, but it would only be for the best. But at the moment, the baby has other ideas. I found I spent half the morning hugging the fresher, I certainly hope this part of my pregnancy will soon be over.

I had lunch with my mother today and I told her the news about my pregnancy, she took it remarkably well. She was thrilled by the prospect of having a grandson to spoil rotten. Then she began to talk my ear off with her endless concerns. Will there be a day when I act like this to my own children, I hope not. For one thing my mother already was asking what I would name my child and what I thought it was going to be. I couldn't seem to make her understand that I only found the news out yesterday.

Entry 4

Tonight Ben and I went over to his parents house and told them the news. The entire Kenobi clan was there, so I felt a little bit intimidated to say the least. After we told them, I was bombarded with a million questions even more so than with my mother. Everyone is so happy for us, and I know that my baby will be well loved. I can just see it now, my son asking if he can go to Gramma and Grandpa's house today. Wait a moment, did I just say son? Must be a mother's intuition.

Its rather strange right now to believe that I'm pregnant as my body shows no signs of it being true. It will be even more strange when I wake up one day to see my bulging belly. So many things can happen to a young baby in the womb, it has been less that 2 days and I'm already feeling attached to the child I'm carrying.

3 MONTHS LATER

Entry 42

Today I finally felt the baby move. It was so strange; I was using the hydromop on the floor when I felt such a strange sensation coming from my stomach. I stopped what I was doing immediately and sat down. Then I felt a soft kick, that had made me laugh because it tickled so much. Then it kept happening, I'm now convinced it HAS to be a boy that I'm carrying.

When Ben came home from work, I pulled him close and let him feel the baby kicking. His eyes lit up and he looked as in awe as I had been when I first had felt the baby kicking. I think the best thing about finally feeling my baby move is that finally I know that my little one is eagerly awaiting his arrival in the world, just as eagerly as I am.

Entry 43

Ben and I have decided to not learn the sex of our child until the day arrives; we rather want to be surprised. No matter if the baby is a boy or girl, they will be loved. As for names we have figured out that if the baby is a boy we will name him Obi-Wan. I have no idea how this particular name came up, it was the strangest thing. I was taking a nap, sound asleep and then I just woke up and said Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan Kenobi has quite a ring to it, and Ben agrees with me on the name.

If the baby happens to be a girl I'm not sure what we will name her, perhaps after a relative. Speaking of the relatives they are constantly hounding me. I love them all but is it necessary to call me everyday to ask how I am. But I know they are excited and I can't help but share their enthusiasm, this baby already means so much to us all.

3 AND A HALF MONTHS LATER

Entry 70

I'm now very close to my due date, and my body is beginning to show the signs of it. Now it has become very hard for me to get around the house, and often times my back hurts when I do any kind of physical activity which is my sign to take a break. Now I feel the baby move all the time, kicking most everyday. I find it such a welcoming feeling, and I get nervous if for one day I do not feel the baby kicking.

Ben is getting more and more edgy as time draws closer to the birth of our baby. He all the time is asking me if I need anything, can he do anything to make me more comfortable. Most nights he tries to get off work early so to be with me, my husband is such a wonderful man and will make the best father.

Entry 75

It has finally happened, I'm still pinching myself out of pure and utter disbelief. I'm a mother now, my son Obi-Wan Kenobi entered the world last night. Our baby is absolutely perfect; he has all his fingers and toes and has his father's beautiful blue-grey eyes and the starts of reddish blonde hair, just like me. Now before the joys of motherhood distract me, I must recount the whole day.

This morning when I woke up I felt weird, not necessarily bad just…out of it. Ben went to work as usual telling me that he loved me and to call his comlink should anything happen. I told him I would be fine since I was so sure that my baby wouldn't be born today, how very wrong I ended up being.

The first twinges of pain begun right after I had my afternoon meal. I was so sure it would be a few more weeks before my baby would be born, so I figured it was indigestion nothing more. But a few hours passed, and the pain intensified, and then I knew it I was in labor.

I signaled Ben on his comlink immediately. I told him not to be worried, but to just hurry home. I don't think it worked that much, as he rushed in and then asked me a million questions. I just told him that the more nervous he got the more I would be. That got the message across and he tried to calm down.

I had been told before that giving birth is so incredibly painful, but it was more excruciating that I would have thought. Yet I knew all the while how worth the pain it would be. We went to the med center and I was put in a bed. Ben held my hand as the contractions hit, poor dear.

I was finally ushered into the delivery room and wanted to scream at the nurse who kept telling me to breathe. And then I wanted to smack the medic when he told me to push. But when I heard my son's first cry, I felt ready to hug them. The medic announced it was a son, which means my mother's intuition was right. Little Obi-Wan was put into my arms and I was in absolute awe.

He really is the cutest baby I've ever seen, and I'm not just saying that as any other biased mother would. Already I can tell he's going to be quite the little charmer, with his big eyes. But all too soon they took him from my arms and told me to sleep. Despite how tired I was, I wanted nothing more than to hold Obi-Wan forever.

Now here I am in my room once more, trying to hide the datapad under my blanket so that the nurse doesn't yell at me. I never was a good patient. But now I do suppose it is time to get some sleep, I will have a busy job soon. The only job I ever want in life.

Entry 76

I feel so incredibly blessed in life, not only do I have the most compassionate and loving husband but I have the most adorable baby boy there ever was. Ben took off work for a week just to be with me and our son. We spend hours talking to Obi-Wan telling him about our past and how much we love him. Not to mention our wishes and dreams for him. We would support him in anything he would ever choose to be in life, no matter what.

I can tell that Obi-Wan is going to be a very smart person, he seems to take everything in around him and I could almost swear he was understanding what we were saying to him. But I know that he probably is just interested in the sound of our voice.

Obi-Wan doesn't cry as some other babies would, he never really seems put out by anything. I only have heard him cry when he wanted to be fed or changed. And let me tell you, he has one voracious appetite. That child is going to eat us out of house and home when he gets older I'm sure.

A FEW WEEKS LATER

Entry 84

Something highly strange happened today I'm still not sure how I can explain it. I had put Obi-Wan down for a nap, and then I fell asleep myself. I woke up 2 hours later and realized I hadn't fed Obi-Wan yet and he would be hungry. Panicked, I went to my son's crib only to find that he already had his bottle.

I don't understand this at all, the bottles were all stored in a cooling unit next to his bed and I KNOW for a fact he didn't have a bottle when I put him down for a nap. How could an infant open a chest and get a bottle? I don't understand this at all. I must be loosing it.

A FEW WEEKS LATER

Entry 108

Something has happened that has literally shaken me at my very core and I honestly don't know how to cope. It all started today when I took Obi-Wan to the med center to get the usual infant tests done since he turned a month old today. Little did I know what one of those tests would eventually mean to us.

The medic came to speak to me about the results of Obi-Wan's test, I should have noticed he seemed a bit uneasy. Then he began to speak, I will put it down quote for quote because I do not thing I will ever forget the words he said to me.

"Mrs. Kenobi as you know we do certain tests on every infant when they reach one standard month," the medic started. I just nodded at him, this was old news to me.

"Well your son is perfectly healthy in every way, but we did notice something," he said not meeting my eyes. I held my son closer as I looked at him.

"Obi-Wan has a high midichlorian count," the medic said.

The word was unfamiliar to me and I just stared at the man. "What does that mean?" I asked.

"It means that Obi-Wan is Force Sensitive and that means he can be trained to become a Jedi," the medic explained.

A Jedi! My son a Jedi!?! I was taken aback as I stared incredulously at the medic. I knew that Jedi went around the galaxy helping worlds with a multitude of problems. They were the warriors that could be unmatched, and the most selfless beings anywhere. They also lived on Coruscant, and used those lightsaber things.

And then I began thinking, could those tests be wrong? The Kenobi family, not to mention my family has never had anyone who was Force Sensitive in the past. I wanted to think they test was wrong, but then again Obi-Wan did get his bottle that one day (the little sneak). So I know it, my Obi-Wan might become a Jedi someday. But I still didn't understand. "How can this happen? My family has had no Force Sensitives ever," I explained.

"Well that is not unusual, it's been known to just pop up where you least expect it," said the medic.

"So what happens now?" I asked, though I recall the voice not sounding like mine.

"I will contact the Jedi Temple on Coruscant and they will send a representative to your home to speak with you about the possibility of training Obi-Wan," the medic said.

A Jedi coming to my home…will the surprises never end today? "Thank you," I said.

"Your welcome…you know I think Obi-Wan is the first Force Sensitive child Frenton has had in years, or at least with the potential to become a Jedi. You must be proud," the medic said as I left.

"I will always be proud of my son," I answered and I soon left the Med Center with Obi-Wan and started heading home.

Now don't get me wrong I'm so proud that my son is so special (now I understand how he got his bottle that day, the little sneak), but in the same token it saddens me because I know that he might soon be taken to the Jedi Temple.

Entry 109

The shock of this morning hasn't even begun to wear off. In fact it is only growing more profound with every passing minute. I still can't believe what the medic said, it seems too unreal. I'm worried to think of what Ben is going to say when he comes home, but I know his reaction will be the same as mine. He will be totally and utterly shocked.

I know it would be a great honor to have a son who is out there fighting for peace and justice in the galaxy, but that would mean having to say goodbye. Would Obi-Wan still think about his parents, or would they be the anonymous people that gave him life. I know I want what is best for him, but is setting him upon the path of a Jedi really a safe one?

I know that Jedi put their lives on the line just about everyday. They fight against innumerable odds and oftentimes are able to get out once more. But they are still mortal and can be killed. I know the Force will guide and protect Obi-Wan in life, but what if it misleads him to his death? I don't know if I would ever be able to forgive myself if he ended up dying a early death, when we could have prevented it all along by not sending him to the Jedi.

As a mother it is my instinctual responsibility to take care of him, but to put him into the unknown I know would hurt so very deeply. I'm so very afraid of the decision I will have to make. I hope Ben and I will be strong enough to be able to cope with this type of loss.

Obi-Wan will still be our son, but it will feel to us as if he has passed on. I know it is the ultimate act of love to let a child go to the Jedi Temple, but I can't help feeling selfish and want to keep him here in my home to raise him as my own. I know the answers but my heart doesn't agree, I don't want to make this choice. Why did my son have to be the Force sensitive one…but there I go sounding selfish again.

I wouldn't want to change Obi-Wan in any way, but I know that should he go to the Temple I will always wonder what my son is up to. It will hurt should he come home to visit one day and I see him grown up into a fine young man…and I wasn't there to see it.

I really need to stop thinking of this for now. At the moment Obi-Wan is still here, and I must spend as much time with him as possible. After all time draws closer to when I know my love and devotion to my child will be put to the test.

Entry 110

I've finally told Ben the news, he found it very hard to believe. The medic had given me the test results of Obi-Wan's midichlorian count, and Ben didn't believe until I had shown them to him. It's strange to think that the child of our flesh has the potential for such great power.

Ben is quite disappointed by the recent turn of events. He had wanted a son so bad that it hurts to think when we have one he will soon be gone. Ben has taken work off from now until the time when the Jedi will come, life is too short and we want to savor the moment until our family will be torn apart.

Entry 111

Word has gotten out that Obi-Wan is Force sensitive and suddenly the Kenobi family is popular. Since there hasn't been a Force sensitive child on my world in years, Obi-Wan is talked about by everyone, our local Holo Net isn't making anything easier. We have been called repeatedly, neighbors I've never seen before have to come to call. I wish they would all just leave us alone; we certainly don't need this now. We already have such little time to be with Obi-Wan, these distractions make it so much harder to cope with.

Time and time again I'm battling with myself, with my emotions. I wish in a way that none of this happened. I know the Force is a energy field that controls life, but why did it have to pick my son? But then I get upset with myself because I know that the Force probably has something special planned for my boy. I'm just going to miss him so dearly it will feel like a wound.

Entry 112

We have received word that a Jedi Knight is on his way here to speak with us. He should be arriving 2 days. 2 more days left with my dear Obi-Wan, I pray I will be strong enough. I know so little about Jedi, about the life he will go through. If Obi-Wan were to grow up in my home I would be able to see it and know day by day. I'm not going to have that privilege.

I went to see my mother today, and she totally doesn't understand what I am going through. I told her that Obi-Wan was Force sensitive and that the Jedi were going to take and train him. She replied that if I was so upset about it then I should just not let the Jedi take him. But she doesn't understand, I'm doing this for Obi-Wan out of the love I have for him. I'm not going to let him miss this opportunity in life, no matter how much it will kill me. My son is so very special to me, but I have no doubt he will be just as special to the world. After all, he is a Kenobi.

Entry 113

A new thought crossed my mind today and once more I feel depressed to say the least. I was thinking about Obi-Wan and if he will ever come back to visit us. I know that is something that will be incredibly hard. Seeing a handsome young stranger enter my home and have to keep telling myself that he is my son. To hear all about his life as a Jedi, and know I can't witness it. I think that will feel the worst out of anything to not see Obi-Wan grow up. And do I really know that he will ever visit me?

Entry 114

Today the Jedi will arrive and I can't help but have a deep sense of fear. What I have I gotten myself into, not to mention my infant son? He doesn't have to be a Jedi, right? I continue to argue with myself which is doing me no good whatsoever. Who am I fooling, I'm not about to take this opportunity away from my son, he deserves the chance to become a Jedi.

I have cleaned the house from top to bottom; I have prepared tea and snacks for our guests. Hardest of all was packing Obi-Wan's baby bag for his journey. Ben is now changing Obi-Wan as I write this currently we are waiting for the Jedi to arrive. I wish that I could stop time, just to have a moment that will last forever with my family together.

Entry 115

It has happened, Obi-Wan is gone for good. He will be trained as a Jedi and that is final. The Jedi finally arrived my hopes that they would be sidetracked was dashed, but then again they ARE Jedi. They're were two Jedi, a master and his apprentice. The older one was named Qui-Gon Jinn and his apprentice was named Xanatos I think. I had a recording rod that I put in my pocket during the interview, so I will recount exactly what was said here as well as what was happening at that particular moment.

"Ben they are here," I said nervously to my husband Ben had came out carrying Obi-Wan and looked decidedly nervous, I'm sure I looked the same. He handed Obi-Wan to me before reaching for the door. There they were, two Jedi and looking just the way I would imagine them to. Both carried themselves with pride yet humility if that were possible. The older one had long hair, beard and a warm smile; his young apprentice had jet black hair and dark blue eyes, a thin braid on one side of his head, and looked bored to say the least.

"Welcome honorable Jedi," Ben said politely making a short bow. I held onto my son, thinking how I didn't know how much longer I would even be able to hold my son.

"Thank you, I am Qui-Gon Jinn and this is my Padawan Xanatos," the older Jedi replied.

"Please come in," my husband said while letting the Jedi in. "I am Ben Kenobi and this is my wife Rella, and our son Obi-Wan."

"Thank you for coming," I managed to say, though I personally didn't think it sounded like my voice.

"We are glad to be of service," Qui-Gon answered and then his attention turned to the gurgling, smiling 1 month old in my arms. "May I hold him?" the Jedi Master asked.

I didn't want to hand my son to a complete stranger, but Qui-Gon seemed like such a friendly and compassionate person that I didn't hesitate. Qui-Gon took Obi-Wan in his arms and looked at him thoughtfully for a moment. Finally he spoke again. "There is no doubt, your son is strong in the Force. He would make a excellent candidate for becoming a Jedi," he said.

I took a deep breath, and Ben's hand found mine and gave a gentle squeeze. I found my voice once more and I spoke the words I had dreaded saying. "Then we can't take that opportunity from Obi-Wan," I said.

"Yes, as much as we love Obi-Wan, we know this is the right thing," Ben said beside me.

"He will be well taken care of, I can assure you of that," Qui-Gon said, glancing down at the baby in his arms. At that very moment however Obi-Wan hiccupped and spit up on Qui-Gon's tunic. Qui-Gon glanced down at the mess. "Not to worry, white is too bland anyways." He said.

We all got a good chuckle out of that one, but it was short lived. I got something for Qui-Gon to clean his tunic and then took Obi-Wan back into my arms.

At this point the recording rod stopped for some reason. The next few hours that followed were the hardest of my entire life. We must have asked the Jedi a million different questions, but they patiently answered us. And then before we knew it he was gone.

I'm wonder where Obi-Wan is now, probably traveling in hyperspace somewhere between here and Coruscant. I hope he is alright, that he is not missing me. I don't think he will even remember me, but Qui-Gon had assured me that at times the Younglings were allowed to visit their families. As hard as this has been for me I know what I must do now, I must lock my feelings for Obi-Wan in the deepest part of my heart, only to be released when my son returns home to me.

Chapter 11

11 MONTHS LATER

Entry 275

Today marks Obi-Wan's first birthday, and I am not able to celebrate it with him. Everyday since he has been gone I've tried not to think about how Obi-Wan was taken in by the Jedi. I've tried so hard to forget him. He is not part of my life anymore, but my heart refuses to let go. Ben had a hard time coping at first like me, but he has moved on, he has accepted it. For me; I'm wondering if that will ever happen.

A MONTH LATER

Entry 300

It was a year ago today that I learned that my first born son was special; that he was Force sensitive. That was one of the hardest times of my life, and today I'm a bit melancholy because of it. I hope he is coping well, all that distance away in Coruscant.

I wonder about it almost everyday. Has he learned to walk yet? Or talk? Does he look even more like his father now? These questions I know won't be answered. For the Jedi don't believe in attachments, and that means I have very little means to find out.

4 MONTHS LATER

Entry 374

It has happened again. I'm pregnant once more, and I nearly cried. I'm of course very happy to once more be carrying a child. On the other hand I'm concerned, what if my second baby is Force sensitive as well? I was able to part with Obi-Wan, could I do it again? Of course that is not what I should be feeling. After all, it is an honor for any child to be accepted into the Jedi. I'm afraid though; I want to watch my next baby grow up. To do all the things I imagined I would be doing with Obi-Wan now. Most of all I want to be a mother, not one in name only.

Ben was quite excited when I told him of my pregnancy. He also is concerned that the next baby will be Force sensitive. Obi-Wan was a miracle baby, to be the first Kenobi to ever be Force sensitive. Ben doubts that our next baby will be the same. How often could that happen anyways? As often as the Force wills it, I suppose. Still, we have tried not to let our worries affect our happiness. Regardless, we are still having a baby, and that is always a blessing.

Chapter 12

Entry 500

My child was born yesterday once more I have a beautiful son. As before the extreme feelings of happiness and worry have overcome me. Our son's name is Owen, and he looks so much like his brother and father. I didn't mention it, but my heart is so very heavy. I don't want to think of the day I will take Owen in for his check up. As proud as I am of Obi-Wan becoming a Jedi, I'm still very selfish.

Being a mother again has given me a joy I once forgot. My family has become pests, always wanting to see or talk about our new arrival. They want to know if Owen is Force sensitive, the one question we'd rather them not speak about. They were all somewhat disappointed when Obi-Wan was taken in by the Jedi, yet they are also proud that a Kenobi will someday become a jedi Knight. But I have no answer for them and I wish they would stop asking. For if I only have a month with Owen I want to make each moment count.

Entry 524

Owen goes in for his examination today and I can't help but feel nervous. Butterflies buzz around in my stomach like mad. I don't think that Owen will be like Obi-Wan , but I can't possibly be sure. I do know that Owen hasn't done any strange tricks to get his bottle like his brother once did. I can't stop the inevitable and my son needs me, I will write more later.

Entry 545

I didn't realize I was holding my breath the whole time of the examination; that is, until I realized I was having a hard time breathing as the doctor announced the results. I held Owen close in my arms, utterly terrified that it might be the last time.

"Mrs. Kenobi, we just received the results of young Owen's tests," the doctor said.

"And?" I asked in a quiet voice. 

"Your son is in perfect health," the doctor said with a smile.

"Good, but what about the midichlorian test?" I forced myself to ask.

"Sorry to disappoint you Mrs. Kenobi, but there won't be another Jedi on your family," he explained.

My Owen won't become a Jedi, I'm so thankful. It makes the pain of loosing  
Obi-Wan lessen; I think I can move on now. I gave my first son to the Jedi, but the second I will be able to raise like I imagined doing with Obi-Wan.

5 YEARS LATER

Entry 2700

I can hardly believe I'm saying this, but Obi-Wan is coming home! I feel like I can walk on air; I can't wait to see my eldest son. I can hardly believe I'm going to be seeing him again. But, will I even recognize him? He's been raised in the Jedi Temple; will he seem like a stranger wearing my eyes? Will he even get along with us? I'm scared to even think about his homecoming. What if it goes badly?

It will be hard seeing a six year old Obi-Wan, and know that I wasn't there those six years with him. He will probably speak with a Coruscanti accent and be full of Jedi wisdom. He won't be anything like his brother, or the rest of us for that matter. He will be a different person than he would if he grew up under my roof.

It will feel like Obi-Wan is coming home to stay, but I know that all too briefly he will be sent back to the Jedi Temple. As much as I don't like to think it, the Temple is Obi-Wan's home and always will be. I don't want to be strangers with my son, but I'm afraid to grow too attached to him again. I'm afraid of the pain I'm sure I will feel seeing him leave again. How is a mother supposed to cope? I almost don't want the day to come.

Chapter 14

Entry 2705

Obi-Wan is coming home today! A Jedi Master is to drop him off within the hour. For two whole weeks I will have my son back; I'm just afraid that time is going to go by much too quickly. The anticipation of his return is driving me nuts, so I've been distracting myself with cleaning the house from top to bottom. Ben doesn't seem himself either; he's very quiet today. I feel I can slice the tension in the air, I've never been good at waiting.

We told Owen that his brother is coming home today, and that just caused him to ask a million questions. He wanted to know where his brother is and why he's there. I told him that his brother is at the Jedi Temple, and that it's a sort of special school. Owen wanted to know if he can go there too, and when I told him no, he wanted to know why. I didn't want to even talk about this to Owen, but I couldn't ignore my sun. It tore me up when he asked that last question, for there was a chance he could have been born with the same abilities Obi-Wan has.

Entry 2706

I'm so happy right now, Obi-Wan is home! As promised, a Jedi Master delivered Obi-Wan to us, and I wanted nothing more that to gather him up in big hug and cover him with kisses. Obi-Wan was a bit apprehensive about meeting us at first, but I could understand why he would be. I will say this, it's a very strange experience having to introduce yourself to your own child. It hurt like I never would've imagined it would, yet my smile never wavered. I won't let Obi-Wan know my sorry, he deserves to enjoy his time to the fullest.

I'm very pleased to see that Obi-Wan appears healthy and happy. He already dresses like a Jedi, and has a braid hanging down one side of his head. As I imagined, he looks like a Kenobi: the same reddish blonde hair that his father and brother have. The Jedi seem to be raising him well; he's a very well mannered boy.

Owen pounced on him at once, asking a million questions as little boys do. I had the recording rod in my pocket again, so I'm going to relay it all here.

"Obi-Wan!" exclaimed Owen. I think my youngest son was so excited for a playmate, and somehow had it in his mind that Obi-Wan had come home to stay. So therefore he couldn't stop pestering his brother.

"Yes?" Obi-Wan asked curious.

"Where did you go?" Owen pressed his brother.

"The Jedi Temple." Obi-Wan answered casually.

"Why?" Owen asked confused, never having heard of such a place.

"I'm a Jedi." Obi-Wan said proudly.

"What's a Jedi?" Owen questioned.

"Jedi use the Force. They help people, but I'm not a Jedi Knight yet." Obi-Wan explained. I'm sure the poor boy was probably distressed by now, being interrogated like that.

"When will you be one?" Owen asked.

Obi-Wan shrugged his shoulders at this point.

"Are you staying here forever now?" Owen asked hopefully.

"I have to go back in two weeks," Obi-Wan answered, causing his little brother to frown sadly.

"You don't want to be here?" Owen asked in a pleading voice.

"It's not that. I'm going to be a Jedi so I have to go back."

At this point, Ben came up and ended the questioning, showing Obi-Wan to his room with Owen tagging along. I took the opportunity to come to my room and write. I'm so incredibly thrilled that our family is together again, but the day he returns will be hard. I've decided I'm going to try not to worry about it, and I'm going to take things one day at a time.

Entry 2712

Today was a wonderful day; I'm so content I feel I could burst. Obi-Wan is now adjusted to being home, and he's begun to tell us his stories of living in the Jedi Temple. Just hearing about his classes made me tired, the Jedi path certainly sounds like a hard one. I know that our choice to send him to the Temple was the right one; Obi-Wan is so happy to be there. I truly am happy for my son, and proud of all he has accomplished so far.

Ben is thrilled to finally have both of his sons home. They went on a fishing trip yesterday, and managed to bring home several fish. I'm glad the men in my life got to spend some time together, for before we know it, Obi-Wan will be gone.

The rest of the family is certainly ecstatic to see Obi-Wan again. I got several messages on my comlink the other day, asking when they could see him. I called them all back inviting them to a party later in the week. I've at least been able to protect my son from the questions for a little while longer. 

Entry 2713

We went on a picnic today, and I think it was one of the most enjoyable days in my life. Last night, before Ben and I went to bed, he got the idea to go for a picnic in the nearby mountains. We decided to surprise the boys, so I prepared the food and put it in the back of our aged landspeeder before waking Obi-Wan and Owen.

Owen was full of questions, like: where we were going, why we were going, and how come we had to get up so early. Ben chuckled and replied, "Follow your nose". I think Obi-Wan eagerly wanted to know our destination as well, but silently took in the scenery as we went.

Luckily, it was a beautiful day, and I think the mountains of Frenton are some of the most spectacular of any planet. The way the light shone off the rocks made them look like they were glittering jewels. I grew up in a nearby village, so it felt like home to me. Having my family together, multiplied that feeling exponentially.

Obi-Wan and Owen enjoyed exploring the forest with Ben, while I spread out our picnic in the meadow. The rest of the day was spent exploring, eating, and enjoying each other's company. Owen is now firmly attached to his elder brother's hip, and Obi-Wan enjoyed acting like a big brother for a change. I think he enjoys the change of being home; not having a set schedule every day.

Entry 2717

I am utterly exhausted right now, but I'm happy to say that the party went fairly well. The family swarmed around. Obi-Wan all night and I think he was uncomfortable about the entire thing. Still, he never complained once, and regaled them with stories of the Jedi for a couple hours. Luckily, Ben saved him then, and told him to go outside and play with Owen and his cousins.

I am greatly relieved that the party is over, and I'm sure everyone else is too. I may love my extended family dearly, but I'm not used to being smothered in a crowd. I'm glad Obi-Wan got to see everyone, because that might be the only time they will see my Jedi son.

Entry 2720

Tomorrow, my eldest son will return to the Jedi; I know I'm going to cry. I almost feel worse now than I did the first time I let Obi-Wan go. Now that I've gotten the opportunity to get to know my amazing son, I don't want to let him go. I wish I could keep him here for always instead of returning him to the Temple. I must continually remind myself that it is an honor for my son to be a Jedi, and I can't stop him for what destiny has picked for him.

Right now I'm watching Obi-Wan and Owen sharing some muja fruit, how innocent and carefree they are right now. Owen doesn't believe Obi-Wan is leaving tomorrow, despite the fact we have told him this. He seems to think his brother is going to be here forever now, but that of course isn't so. I know Owen will take it hard, but I will have to let go of my own pain in order to attend to my son's. If only this didn't have to happen. 

Entry 2721

Obi-Wan is gone now, and I've tried to let him go from my heart once more. Training myself that I only have one son now, is so extremely hard to do again. As I predicted, Owen was upset; he just cried himself to sleep. I will have to speak with him more tomorrow. Ben was quite sulky tonight, locking himself into his study, so here I am pouring my heart out to this datapad once more. 

When the Jedi Master came back to retrieve Obi-Wan, we all found it very hard to say goodbye. Luckily, the Master was kind enough to give us a chance to say our goodbyes. Ben held onto him for a long while, before planting a kiss on his cheek. Owen cried as he hugged his brother, and then stormed out of the room. Finally, it was my turn to say goodbye for hopefully not the last time.

I found my mouth suddenly full of cotton as I tried to find my voice. Obi-Wan's eyes filled with tears as he clung to my linen shirt. I moved down and put my cheek against his. Finding my voice, the only thing I could say to my son was, "I carry you always." He nodded and finally we separated and Obi-Wan left with the other Jedi. I let my son go again, and I reflected on what I told him. For he will always remain in my heart, and I must never forget it.

Chapter 16

10 YEARS LATER

Entry 5221

It has now been ten years to the day since I last saw my eldest son. It's as if it was all a dream, and I never really gave him up to the Jedi. It feels like it was just a bad dream, and I never gave a child to the Jedi. It's as if Obi-Wan didn't exist, except for in my mind. Only my heart still reminds me that he is still there; I've not forgotten him and I doubt I ever will.

I can only imagine what Obi-Wan is doing nowadays, though it's probably best not to know. If I did, I'm sure I would be worrying about him constantly. I haven't seen him since he was a six year old child; he's sixteen now. My Obi-Wan is becoming a man, and I'm not there to see it.

Though I haven't seen my Jedi son in 10 years, I have fortunately gotten world of his well being. Ben and I have received word from the Jedi Temple that he is doing well. Obi-Wan was selected as a Padawan (I believe that's the Jedi word for apprentice) by a Jedi Master, and is now well on the path to becoming a Jedi Knight. I'm very proud of my son; I just wish I could see him. I hate to admit it, but I envy the Jedi Master who gets to train Obi-Wan.

I should stop complaining about what I cannot change; I do have much to be thankful for. Owen is growing into a fine young man, and I'm sure he's going to follow in his father's footsteps someday. Ben is still the most amazing husband, and I'm glad to have found him. My family is the most important thing in my life.

It is a shame that Frenton has been having so many problems lately. When the government center was attacked by an irate faction of the city; fear spread to every heart and home. I try to disregard it, but the truth is I'm afraid too. I don't think there will be too long until full scale fighting will break out. I can't help feeling sure that this will happen very soon.

Entry 5240

Today the most incredible thing happened, I finally saw Obi-Wan again! It was such a shock, that I'm still reeling from it. The day started as any other; it was my house cleaning day, so I almost didn't hear the bell ring. I was so incredibly shocked to see two Jedi standing at the door. Both had an air of familiarity around them. I looked at the older Jedi first, and wondered if I was imagining things. It looked like the same Jedi who took Obi-Wan as a baby. Then I looked at the younger one, and though I haven't seen him in a decade, I still recognized him instantly.

I couldn't resist drawing my son into a tremendous hug, even before I greeted them. Obi-Wan hesitated only a second before embracing me; there was nothing I could do to stop tears from falling down my cheek. I managed to utter a greeting then, and welcomed them inside.

Both bowed and then entered; Jedi are always so polite. My assumption is correct; the Jedi Master is Qui-Gon Jinn, the same Jedi who took Obi-Wan as a baby. Strange that he is now the person training Obi-Wan to be a Jedi. I'm guessing that the padawan he was with last time must be a Jedi Knight now.

I found that it was incredibly hard to take my eyes off my son, so long have I wanted to see him again. Obi-Wan is most definitely growing up, a lightsaber is on his belt and he has a most serious expression on his face. It is obvious that he respects Qui-Gon deeply, and is totally devoted to the Jedi Order. I'm proud that he is my son. 

Qui-Gon explained that they just completed a mission here, and were waiting a couple of hours until their transport could take them back to Coruscant. I'm happy to know that the Jedi know of our continuing struggle here, and I'm glad that my son is helping to bring peace to this world again. Obi-Wan wasn't here for that long, but I did my best to make the most of it.

Obi-Wan is most definitely a Jedi; he wears the padawan braid, Jedi tunics and a utility belt with various equipment on it, including his lightsaber. He truly looks like a young Ben, or Owen for that matter. Qui-Gon has aged a bit, but still looks nearly identical to the Jedi I met years ago.

Presently, Ben arrived home with Owen, having picked him up from school. Both were overwhelmed to see Obi-Wan again. The two of them collected the wayward family member in a group hug. I think Ben was crying, and Owen was extremely pleased to see the brother who he looked up to as a child.

Isn't it a pity that time always flies when you don't want it to? The five of us talked for at least three hours, telling stories and anecdotes to pass the time. I regaled them with the story of Obi-Wan puking on Qui-Gon so many years ago, and I must say the look on the Jedi Master's face was priceless. I don't think he quite remembered until I said it, that it was indeed Obi-Wan who regurgitated his breakfast on him.

I won't lie and say it didn't hurt to see my son leave again, but I'm feeling much better about it. Obi-Wan is living the life he wants, and I'm happy for him. Qui-Gon seems more like a father to him, than a teacher. I can tell they both care deeply for one another. I don't have a connection to the all powerful Force, but I think it would be safe to say that their friendship will take them far.

Chapter 17

SEVEN YEARS LATER

Entry 7300

It's finally come down to it; this morning Ben and I became Frenton's newest refuges. I didn't want this day to come, but I knew that things were never going to get better on my world. The civil war that began seven years ago continues to rage; it's become a dangerous place to live. It was extremely hard for us to leave, but our choices were so limited.

We've decided to move to the planet Naboo, a beautiful and peaceful world. I quickly fell in love with this place; the capital at Theed is an architectural triumph and the people made me feel at home instantly. We are living in the capital; our home is a fairly nice but modest little apartment. From our tiny garden, I can see the palace in all its glory. The government is stable on Naboo and has been for many years, I finally feel safe again.

The one thing I still find myself worrying over is my son Owen. He didn't listen to our advice about leaving Frenton; instead he decided to stay and fight in the civil war. He wants nothing more than to come back to us as a war hero, but doesn't realize that all we care about is his well being. I can't help my constant worry for him, and my comlink gets constant use. I only hope Owen will come to understand that fighting won't get him anywhere and that he needs to grow up and settle down. I would love to be a grandparent someday.

TWO YEARS LATER

Entry 7900

I never would've imagined that coming to the planet Naboo would be such a huge mistake. As of today, I'm living on a planet under a blockade by the notorious Trade Federation. It's funny that we escape our world to avoid things like this. I came to love Naboo, but it's still not my homeworld. I wish I could return, but that will never happen I fear.

Our leader during these hazardous times is Queen Amidala, a young woman who has quite the mind for politics. When I first heard that a fourteen year old girl was running for office, I thought it was a joke. Then I heard this young woman speak; she knows what she is doing and I believe she will be a great leader of Naboo. I wonder what must be going through her mind right now, I couldn't imagine having to bear such a responsibility.

Entry 7902

The worst thing I could imagine has just occurred. The droid armies have just now invaded Naboo. I can hear the metal thud of their footsteps right now, and the whine of their repulsor engines. A moment ago I tried calling Owen on Frenton, but communications were scrambled. My hands are shaking right now, I'm utterly terrified. What is going to happen to us now? I hope our queen has a plan.

Entry 7903

I'm in a cell now, with at least twenty other women. One minute Ben and I were sitting in our home minding our own business, and the next we were being herded out by well armed battle droids. Luckily I had enough sense to put this datapad in my tunic pocket; I don't know what I would do if I didn't have this journal to share my thoughts with.

Entry 7904

I'm sad to say that my situation hasn't improved in the least, in fact it's worse. The battle droids are constantly harassing us, and giving us only a very little to eat and drink. According to the rumors flying about, the Queen escaped Naboo right under the nose of the Trade Federation. I have no clue how or why she did, I only hope she knows what she is doing. I must ask myself one question, how was she able to escape? Even with bodyguards, battle droids are not easy to escape from. Unless they had Jedi assistance, of course.

Depression threatens to overtake me here. Without contact to my son or my husband, the feelings of worry and anger have overcome me. I want to do something, but what can an average woman do against odds such as these. I may be the mother of a Jedi, but that doesn't matter much in the grand scheme of things. I wish Obi-Wan were here right now.

Entry 7905

I didn't have the opportunity to write in this datapad for the last few days, as I didn't want a droid to find it. Now it's all over though; Naboo is free again at last! Yesterday the most remarkable thing happened, some people escaped from the droids. From what I heard, the Queen returned and her guards came to the camp and freed some of the soldiers.

At this point I found everything extremely hard to believe; was our Queen actually crazy enough to return to this captive world? Hours later I found out the truth, she did. It wasn't long before we heard the sounds of a distant battle, not to mention the sounds of a close proximity skirmish going on. Everyone was either terribly excited or agitated and worried. I fell into the latter group.

Sometime later, we heard a lull to the sounds of battle, and then realized that the guard droids in front of our cells were deactivated. A cheer arose, and we were soon freed from our cell. I immediately searched for Ben, so dearly I missed him. When we found one another, we crushed one another on our embrace and I couldn't control the stream of tears flowing down my face. When I was in my husband's arms, worry and fear I was harboring disappeared.

Entry 7906

I'm back in my home, and I finally have a better grasp of the events that just held Naboo in its grasp. It seems the Trade Federation wanted to force Queen Amidala to sign a treaty to make their blockade legal. Some Jedi helped rescue the Queen and escorted her off planet to plead her case to the Senate.

I suppose that didn't help much, as she soon returned to Naboo. She convinced the Gungans (Naboo's other sentient beings) into fighting the droids while pilots knocked out the control towers. I'm just happy that her plan worked, as it could have gone wrong in so many ways.

Then I heard the most shocking news of all. The Jedi that helped the queen were Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi. My son is here on this planet; I can hardly believe it. It makes me feel so proud to know that he helped make a difference here. My son is a hero and I'm very proud of him. If only I could tell him that to his face; I long to see him again.

Entry 7907

I was sad to hear that Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn was killed, my son must be very upset. I remember the master being a very compassionate person, even by Jedi standards. I couldn't forget how much he seemed to care for Obi-Wan, they truly seemed to have a great friendship. I wish I could be there to comfort my son, but he's not a child anymore.

The other thing I felt at hearing that Qui-Gon died was the shock. Jedi are pegged as being nearly invincible beings; hardly ever coming to harm despite the dangers they were exposed to. Yet he died, which makes me wonder how close to death Obi-Wan was. I don't like to think about it, but what he does everyday is not for the faint of heart. I don't know if I would be able to forgive myself if Obi-Wan died, knowing I could've prevented it when he was a baby.

Obi-Wan knows what he is doing I'm sure, but I am a mother. I will always feel concern for him, even if I never do see him again. Tomorrow there is a ceremony and parade at the palace, perhaps he will be there.

Entry 7908

I went to the parade and ceremony that was a celebration of Naboo's new found peace with the Gungan people. Ben and I stood close together on the side of the street, watching as several Gungans went by, one of them highly clumsy. Queen Amidala looked radiant and beautiful as she handed the globe of light over to the Gungan leader. At this point I was tapped on the shoulder by Ben; my gaze followed his pointing finger and my heart nearly stopped. There he was, my Obi-Wan.

He was standing on the same step as the queen, but a few paces away. Obi-Wan didn't look like he was grieving, but I know that Jedi are trained to release emotions. The first thing that struck me about his appearance was the sudden realization that his padawan braid was shorn. Which must mean Obi-Wan is a Jedi Knight now; I'm so proud of him.

I also noticed a young boy standing next to him with a padawan braid. Could this mean that my son is not only a Jedi Knight, but also a Master now?

My eyes didn't leave my son; I wanted to burn this newest vision of him in my mind forever. Then, as if he knew I was looking at him, (I wouldn't be surprised if he did), Obi-Wan seemed to look straight at me, and then he smiled.

Chapter 18

TEN YEARS LATER

Entry 11209

All of Naboo was shocked today to discover that our former Queen, Padme Amidala was nearly assassinated. The holonet reported she was going to Coruscant in order to vote on the army creation act, when her ship was destroyed. Luckily, she was smart enough to realize the risk and so her decoy was killed instead of her. Politics may be important, but I can't see why they would be so important as to kill anyone who disagrees with them. I certainly hope she has improved her security efforts.

Entry 11213

Tragedy struck the planet of Geonosis today, and not even Ben can console me. The reports all tell of several Jedi being killed by the droid armies of the Separatists. The world holds Jedi in such high esteem, that to hear of so many casualties, shocked everyone. If these bold and brave warriors are dying in battle, then what does that mean for the rest of us? What does this mean for my Jedi son?

I'm so worried for Obi-Wan, what could be happening to him right now? I know that he's been in and out of danger his entire life; after all he IS a Jedi. To hear of this incident on Geonosis scares me beyond belief. Was he one of those killed? What about his Padawan? Did he know those who died? If my son is alive, then I can only imagine what he must be feeling. It must be incredibly hard on him. I just want to talk to him; I want to hold him as I did when he was a baby.

Entry 11214

I have received a message from Obi-Wan! I couldn't hardly believe it, until I actually saw it for myself. This is what the hologram we received said.

Father and Mother,

As I'm sure you must've heard about the incident on Geonosis, I felt I should let you know that I'm doing well. Don't worry for me, I have the Force as my ally. Take care, as I fear this conflict won't end anytime soon. I hope you and Owen are all well, I miss you all.

Obi-Wan

I can't say how relieved I was to see this; Obi-Wan wasn't harmed and he hasn't forgotten about his family. That warmed my heart more than I can express.

Entry 11212

The holonet is calling it the Clone Wars, because apparently the Republic now has a force of clone troopers. It sounds fishy to me, but I'm happy the Republic has a fighting force. I thought that when Naboo was invaded ten years ago that it was the absolute worst thing that could happen. Well I was wrong. Since the Clone Wars began, nothing has been the same. War is the most horrible abomination; I'm saddened that it has taken over the galaxy. Nothing and nowhere is safe anymore.

While I'm very happy that Ben and I have had a good life here on Naboo, we still miss our homeworld dearly. The civil war that ravaged the planet has ended, but I'm not sure that it won't start again. Owen still refuses to move to Naboo with us, but he has at least settled down. He now has a son and daughter of his own; I finally got my wish for grandchildren. If only they were here now, how I worry for them all everyday.

As for the events that have overtaken the galaxy I can only pray that it will be extremely short lived. Wars that ravage a single planet are bad enough, but a galaxy wide war is terrifying. From what Ben was telling me there is a Separatist movement headed up by Count Dooku, who I was told is a former Jedi. Planets all over are falling to the Separatists side and even the dreaded Trade Federation is involved. I have a very bad feeling about this.

Chapter 19

TWO YEARS LATER

Entry 123015

Looking back at the entries I made right before the outbreak of the Clone Wars, I must say my expectations were right on. These last two and a half years have been atrocious; the loss of life is innumerable. Hope is a thin thread shared only by the few; most people are resigned to their fate, but I'm one of the few who still believes in a safe and free Republic. Above all I trust the Jedi.

The first time I saw Obi-Wan on the holonet, I couldn't stop the swell of pride I felt. Then I continued to see him and it wasn't long before the name Obi-Wan Kenobi became a household name. I'm incredibly proud of him; my son has become an extraordinary Jedi even by their standards.

The holonet reporters call him The Negotiator, because he is able to resolve conflicts without violence. Obi-Wan is not just a Jedi Knight now, but also a Master. I've heard that he is now on the Jedi Council; even with my limited knowledge of the Jedi, I know that the Council is reserved for the best. He is General Kenobi, as he leads others into battle. My baby boy is one of the most influential people in the galaxy.

Being the mother of the Negotiator is not that easy, as some might think. Any time I use my credit chip at the market, the cashier gives a double take whenever he sees the last name Kenobi.

Some joke about the coincidence of my name being the same as Obi-Wan's, others ask me the 'do you know him' question. If I answer correctly then I'm hounded with a million questions, so I've taken to telling them there is no relation. When I say it, the knife wound in my heart grows deeper.

As I've already said, I'm very proud of Obi-Wan's achievements as a Jedi. I still am a mother however; so I can't help being constantly worried. He does all these terrifyingly dangerous acts of courage, that he somehow is able to come out of alive. I see it on the holonet, and the whole time I'm on pins and needles. I don't want to watch it, because I know the fear and worry will grow, but I fear I might miss something important if I don't.

Besides Obi-Wan, the holonet reporters are flocking to his old apprentice, Anakin Skywalker. I'm sure that was the little boy I saw with Obi-Wan those many long years ago here on Naboo. Anakin is called The Hero With No Fear, as he often gets himself caught in the most precarious of situations. Obi-Wan tags along, and seems to play the part of the bait on more than one occasion. Why do I get the feeling that boy is going to be the death of my son?

Owen eventually decided to move his family to Naboo, when Frenton was won by the Separatists. He lives close by, and is working for the Naboo government. There is one less worry for me day to day.

Ben is still getting around all right, despite the fact that his age is just beginning to catch up with him. He is fortunate that he is still fairly healthy for his age; must be those persistent Kenobi genes.

As for myself, I feel the weight of my years every single day. When I look in the mirror, the face I see doesn't look like the one I once knew. The time has gone by too fast, the prime of my life gone as if in a dream. I'm no longer the naïve wife I was when I married Ben; now my heart and mind are scarred with a pain nobody should share.

The saddest part is that it isn't just the elderly that have aged; this war has caused too many young people to grow up faster than they should.

I'm not sure what is going on in the Senate these days, but I'm getting very concerned. It seems to me that the more this war drags on, the more deliberation the Senate does. I know the Supreme Chancellor has our best interests, but sometimes it seems like he doesn't put those emergency powers to good use. I was never a politician, so can I be totally sure they aren't doing a good job?

War is such a terrible affair, and I can't help but ask myself: will it ever end? I'm beginning to doubt that it will. Everyone has changed because of this war, and not for the good. Take the Jedi for example: they are generals leading troops into battle. They are spread out thinly throughout the galaxy; this worries me. Even Jedi aren't spared fatalities. Whenever the war does end, I can't help but worry that it still won't be over.

Entry 123017

Today I had a most interesting encounter. I happened to be shopping in the market, when I happened upon Jobal Naberrie. She is the mother of Padme Amidala, the senator and former queen. Here is what happened, as best I can remember it.

I was at the muja fruit stand buying two of them, when my last name was recognized again.

"Kenobi," the fruit seller said, reading the name on my credit chip. The man chuckled. "Let me guess you're a relative of that Jedi guy, right?" he said, with evident sarcasm in his voice.

I didn't answer as he handed me the chip back and the bag of fruit. I just nodded to the man and turned away, not willing to fight the reporters today. I made my way briskly through the market, and heard a voice behind me.

"Excuse me," said a woman walking closer to me. She looked to be at least ten years younger than myself, with brown hair and eyes. I stopped and turned to face her.

"Yes?" I asked curiously, though I think with a little impatience too.

"I couldn't help but overhear him back there. Are you really related to Obi-Wan Kenobi?" she asked, smiling.

I sighed. "As a matter of fact, Obi-Wan is my son," I replied.

"Well then, I wish to thank you," the lady responded.

I was taken aback, not understanding what she was getting at. A moment later I figured it out. Thanks for giving your son to the Jedi, thanks for giving us hope. I've heard it all before. Not that I didn't appreciate it, the comments pierced the untouched part of my heart that I've been trying to protect all these years.

I think she understood my hesitation, for she spoke again before I could reply. "Your son helped protect my daughter, for that I'm thankful," the woman said.

It wasn't long before the two of us were talking like old friends, I'm happy to have found a new one. It seems that Jobal's story is similar to mine in some ways. She wanted her daughter Padme to live a peaceful life; to one day get married and have kids. Only Padme decided to become a politician, which placed her in danger on many occasions.

Jobal told me that Obi-Wan and his padawan were the Jedi sent to protect Padme when the Trade Federation wanted her dead. That was why she wanted to thank me, since she never met Obi-Wan. I told her my story, about how we lived on Frenton for years until the civil war forced us to move to Naboo. About how I haven't seen my son in over a decade, and now I'm getting noticed for the son I hardly know.

Both of us gave our children up to public service, and our children are important to the Republic. We know that we couldn't stop them even if we wanted to; for that isn't how things are supposed to be. My Obi-Wan will never stop being a Jedi, just as Jobal's daughter Padme is a politician to the core. We are mothers, and despite everything they will still be our children and we will love them no matter the cost.

Chapter 20

ALMOST A YEAR LATER

Entry 123267

Today marks the lowest point the Republic has seen in the Clone Wars. When I awoke today, Ben was avidly watching the holo; a look of mild consternation on his face. I sat down next to him and saw the report detailing General Grievous's newest attack; on Coruscant of all places. I couldn't believe it was actually happening. If the heart of the Republic is vulnerable, then what will happen when the Separatists go after a harmless planets like Naboo?

Ben held me as I cried; it seems he's been doing that quite a bit lately. We both watched as the battle raged on; Republic starships taken down by vulture droids and the giant cruisers shooting brightly colored turbolaser beams at one another. My heart when went out to the poor pilots whose lives ended in a brief flash of flame.

Later, on the same day, my grandchildren came over for a visit while their parents worked. Mak, my grandson is now seven and his sister Adira is five. They remain perhaps one of the few joys left to the old woman I've become. It warms my heart to see these two young children play; they are so innocent, not knowing about the horrors of this war. They are very fortunate to live on a world such as Naboo, for Frenton remains more of a battleground than a home.

My grandchildren were busy playing some imaginary childish game, while I watched the newest holonet report. To my utter disbelief the holonet reporter explained that Supreme Chancellor Palpatine was kidnapped by the Separatists. I couldn't contain myself this time, despite the fact that I didn't want to break down in front of my grandchildren.

"What's wrong, Gramma?" said little Adira, climbing up on my lap.

For a moment I debated on the best response to answer her. "I'm just worried, dear," I said simply.

"Don't be sad, Gramma, Uncle Obi will save the day," she said, patting my hand. 

The only thing I could do was pull Adira into a hug; she was right. I couldn't lose hope. My son Obi-Wan, and the rest of the Jedi are out there right now. There is no way they will let the Supreme Chancellor go without a fight. The question is will they be too late? 

Entry 123268

I have incredible news from Coruscant! Chancellor Palpatine was saved by none other than my son and Anakin Skywalker. Little Adira knew it all along; I'm surprised she's not Force sensitive. The other part of the report was to announce that Count Dooku, leader of the Separatist forces was killed. This is the best news I've heard in a long time.

It's worrisome to think of my son facing down that dangerous man, and coming out alive. The prowess of the Jedi, never continues to amaze me. Now that Dooku is dead, perhaps that will mean that this war is almost at an end. I certainly hope that is the case, for I'm so tired of hearing reports of bloodshed and loss.

From what I've gathered, the next target for the Republic is to capture or kill General Grievous. I don't know much about the individual in question, but what I have heard scares me. He is a cyborg, with a small part of him actual living tissue. He has also killed several Jedi, using their lightsabers against them. This monstrosity is a violation of nature; unfortunately he's still at large.

Entry 123281

Recent events in the Senate have started to concern me greatly in the last week or so. I'm no politician and I wouldn't claim to know the intricacies that the Senate is involved in, but I'm really beginning to wonder if they have our best interests in mind. More and more direct power is being given to the Supreme Chancellor. I've been told that this is to effect swift change, but that sounds more like a dictatorship than democracy to me.

Jobal told me that her daughter has some of the same feelings regarding the Supreme Chancellor's new powers. She said that Padme and some other senators were trying to talk with Palpatine about it, but from what I can tell nothing has been done about it. What is this Republic becoming? 

Entry 123289

I've long felt that I couldn't be prouder of Obi-Wan than what I already am, but once more my son has proven me wrong. The newest report on the holonet is that Obi-Wan defeated the dreaded General Grievous. It's amazing to think that where so many other Jedi have failed, my son has conquered. If only I could tell him how proud I was of him. One thing I'm sure of though, Obi-Wan would tell me that he was only doing his job.

Entry 123306

I can hardly begin to express the emotions coursing through my body right now. The unthinkable has become reality in the most grotesque way imaginable. The war is finally over. I've been waiting for the end for so long, but now I wish it never ended at all. Nobody expected the final conclusion of the deadly Clone Wars, but this stems from where nightmares come from.

The Republic is no more; in place of it, we have The First Galactic Empire. Chancellor Palpatine is now Emperor Palpatine, which confirmed my suspicions that he was up to something this whole time. The speech he gave over the holonet was one that did little to instill reassurance or hope. All it served was to make fear slither down my spine. How can this be happening? I wish this were all a dream.

The worst, the absolute most heinous crime the new Empire has committed was the murder of Jedi. Palpatine claimed that the Jedi were going to rebel, to take over the galaxy. I will not believe this, Jedi only seek to help others. The irony is that the murderers were the very same clones that once served under the Jedi. There were reports of fabled Jedi Masters like Mace Windu and Kit Fisto attempting to murder Palpatine. If this is true, then I'm on the Jedi's side. 

Another horrifying aspect about this attack on the Jedi; even the Jedi Temple was attacked. Everyone from babies to children, to teenagers and adults were senselessly murdered. My heart goes out to all those mothers out there who lost their children because this Empire deemed them dangerous. Not a day into the new Empire's reign and already their hands are stained with innocent blood.

When I first heard of the Jedi genocide, my thoughts went to Obi-Wan, and they remain there still. I don't want to believe it that he is dead, but most likely he has met his doom. I keep thinking back to that day when Qui-Gon Jinn took Obi-Wan to the Jedi Temple, should I have stopped it then? I know he was meant to be a Jedi, but he might've been saved from such a horrible fate.

I know I won't be able to sleep, not until I know he's safe. I can't watch the holo anymore, the ads of anti Jedi propaganda are sure to depress me further. I feel as though a part of my heart has been ripped apart, just like the great Republic I once lived in. A parent should never lose their child, but if he is dead, can't I at least give him a proper burial?

**Chapter 21**

Entry 123307

It is ironic to think that these war free days are incredibly worse than the ones during the fighting. Everything has happened so incredibly fast. My head is still spinning from the grief, shock and absolute horror I've been subjected to. Just when I felt things couldn't possible grow worse, a new tragedy reaches me. How much is an old woman supposed to take?

I'm still in mourning for Obi-Wan, yet I haven't truly accepted the fact that he is dead. My son is resourceful and powerful, but even then he could be outmatched. I don't want to think about it, but his body could be lying unforgotten on some unforgiving planet. I wonder if I will ever know what happened to him, but I'm beginning to doubt it.

Entry 123308

Poor Jobal, a horrible tragedy has befallen the Naberrie family. Her beloved daughter Padme has followed the Jedi, and is now dead. All of Naboo is mourning this loss for she was well loved; the funeral is expected to be attended by many.

What makes this even worse is the fact that Padme died pregnant. As a mother, this makes my heart scream out in the agony of it. From what I've heard, she died in before giving birth. It's ironic that we like in a highly advanced society, yet women still die in childbirth. The birth of a child is supposed to be a happy occasion, not noted with the death of both the mother and her child.

I wonder if the baby's father knows what happened to Padme, does he even care? The universe has become such an unforgiving place, that even I fear to know the answers. The galaxy today is not the one I knew as a child. Everything is going to change, and its not for the good. I just wish I didn't have to witness it.

Entry 123310

Today I attended the funeral for Padme Naberrie Amidala, and it was very hard to endure. I stood on the side of the street as the procession bearing Padme went by. The look on Jobal's face was one of absolute grief and hopelessness. She walked with her husband Ruwee, her daughter Sola and Sola's husband and children.

I was very grateful that Ben was standing with me offering his support. He knows how much this has affected me. He simply is the dearest man and the most loving husband I could have ever asked for. My husband held me close as we continued to watch the funeral procession, and then we saw the queen. Queen Apailana's face was painted so that it truly showed how she must be grieving. The whole planet of Naboo will feel the loss for many years to come.

Entry 123315

Today I had the most remarkable visit from Jobal that still has me in shock. When she came it was very lucky that I had my trusty recording rod in my pocket. Since I'm beginning to get more forgetful as I grow older, I've begun to carry the rod with me at all times. It helps me not forget the important things I need to do for the day. Well as I was saying, Jobal visited me. This is what happened.

I was relaxing on my chair when I heard a knock on the door. I remember being very surprised to see Jobal, because I'm sure she still must be grieving for her daughter.

"Hello Jobal, so good of you to visit," I said, embracing my friend.

"Rella I have something to tell you," Jobal said, skipping the formalities.

"Yes?" I asked curiously.

"It's about your son," Jobal stated.

At this point I'm not sure that I really wanted to hear what Jobal said next. I tucked Obi-Wan away deep in my heart, where nothing could breach it. Only my friend could very well be doing that in the next moment. Still I managed to find my voice.

"What about my son?" I asked afraid.

"He's alive," she replied.

At this moment I think I just stared at Jobal, so shocked I was. I didn't know if I wanted it to be true. I've been worrying and hoping so much for Obi-Wan, that Jobal's statement seemed almost too good to be true. Still, I felt my heart dance and rejoice to know that he is at least alive.

"How did you find out?" I asked.

"It's a long story, but I will tell you the gist of what happened. You see, Obi-Wan was at the medical facility where Padme died," she answered.

She saw my very skeptical and questioning glance, and started to explain more. "When Captain Panaka brought Padme's body back, he told me that your son was alive. He knew he could trust me to find you and tell you the news," Jobal explained.

"Why was Obi-Wan there?" I asked confused.

"He was the one who brought her to the medical facility I'm told," was Jobal's reply.

"Are you meaning to say that my son and your daughter...?" I seriously hoped this speculation wasn't true.

"No, I seriously doubt that. We believe that the father of Padme's child is his former apprentice, Anakin Skywalker," Jobal said.

"Really?" I asked.

"Before the Clone Wars, I happened to meet Anakin. A mother can tell when a boy is smitten with her daughter, and when her daughter doesn't want to admit to falling for him in return."

I nodded. Then something else occurred to me. "You just spoke of Padme's child as if it were alive," I stated.

Jobal smiled. "Yes, her baby survived. Padme's body wasn't carrying any unborn children, it was merely made to look like it. I'm telling this to you because I know I can trust you, the Empire must never know this," she said seriously, her face grave.

"The Empire? Why would they care about the baby of a senator?" I questioned once more.

"I'm not sure; I was only told that this is a secret I must take to my grave. You must do so as well my friend," Jobal declared.

"Don't worry, I will keep you confidence," I answered honestly.

My son is alive, I want to shout it to the galaxy! Unfortunately that would have incredibly dire consequences if I did. Ben was very happy to hear that Obi-Wan is alive, though he was confused as to how I learned of it. I told him that Jobal learned of it, but nothing about Padme's mysterious secret. That is not my secret to share to anyone, not even my husband.

I can only imagine what must be going through Obi-Wan's mind and I wish I could be there to comfort him. It must have hurt him dearly to see the Jedi life he knew go up in smoke, like their majestic Temple did on Coruscant. And then there is the thousands of Jedi who died, ranging from Council Masters all the way down to younglings. He must be suffering, but my sincerest wish is that he hasn't lost hope.

**Chapter 22**

Entry 123323

It is amazing how life will continue to throw you surprises, and not all of them for the good. The doctor told me today that I have an incurable and slowly disabilitating disease. I didn't even care to know the name of my killer, for that's what this disease is going to become. The treatments offered aren't going to do anything to preserve my quality of life. I have chosen to not accept them.

Ben was absolutely horrified when he heard about my sickness. For the first time in my entire life, he was afraid of something. He kept quizzing the medic trying to understand it better, though he still looked over several files in the library. He was very upset when I told him that I didn't want to undergo the complex treatment. I gently told him that I'm an old lady and that treatments might not ensure that I would live much longer. He grudgingly gave approval, but I know he is very upset. I wish it didn't have to be this way.

I'm determined that this miserable ailment won't stop me from living out the rest of my days in the manner of my choosing. I will continue to spoil my grandchildren, cook and bake for my husband and write in this journal. Right now I feel a fatiguing sort of weakness, but I'm still able to follow my daily routine. I hope to be doing so for a long while still.

Entry 123328

My body is growing weaker with every passing day, I can feel it. Today I was in my garden pulling weeds when I suddenly passed out. The next thing I remember was Ben peering over me while I was lying in my bed. He insisted that I go to see the medic, I complied. While I didn't want the complex treatments for my disease, I did accept some common medicines to help ease my day to day life.

There is something I don't want to admit out loud, but I will easily do in this journal. I try and put on a brave façade everyday, despite my pain and weakness. Inside however, I'm absolutely terrified. I know that dying is a part of life, but it's forever hovering it's dark shadow over my head. I don't want to leave my family someday, but I know it's coming. And it will be soon I fear.

Entry 123332

This will be my last entry. I'm now confined to my bed, since my energy is sapped even when I try to do simple things like dress my self. My family knows it won't be long for me; they've made it a habit to visit me once a day now. Mak and Adira are still too young to fully understand what is happening to their grandma. It nearly broke my heart when they asked if I would take a walk for them, for I had no choice but to gently refuse the offer.

The worst part about dying has to be the knowledge that when you die you will inadvertently cause your loved ones to grieve for you. I would tell them to not shed any tears for me, but I know they would never listen. I can see the sympathy and sadness when they put on a brave face, I hate to make them suffer and cause them pain. My poor grandchildren probably will take it very hard.

My last entry, I never would've imagined it. I started this diary when I was a naïve twenty two year old who was about to have her first child. Now I'm a careworn sixty year old on the verge of passing away. During the almost thirty years I've kept this journal, it has become a sort of friend to me. This datapad is the only place I reveal the deepest secrets, worries and fears of my heart along with expressing the most joyful moments of my existence.

It seems only yesterday when I started this, on the very day that I discovered I was pregnant with Obi-Wan. It's amazing at how fast time flies. Looking through to my earlier entries, I see how I've transformed from a young girl into a woman. I wasn't destined for great power or wealth in my life, but I lived the way I wanted to.

As I lie on the bed I'm going to die on, I think about my legacy. My oldest son is a Jedi, and I have no doubt he'll continue to live as one. Through him he saved and help numerous people, out of pure compassion to do good for anyone needing it. I can't possibly forget the day I gave birth to him, nor the one when he was taken out of my arms by a friendly Jedi Master. I know that it was right, and I've always been proud of his accomplishments.

My youngest son Owen has also made me very proud of him. It's true that his independent pride caused Ben and I to worry about him when he was a youth. It's also true that he is now a loving husband and father. He has grown into a much wiser man through his days of fighting in the Frenton Civil War, and I love him dearly. His wife and children are an absolute delight, I miss them already.

And my dear husband Ben, I'm saddened to know that I will soon leave him. He's always been here for me through all the suffering, pain and heartache. Ben's gentle but firm manner made him a wonderful father. I know that in many ways, both of his sons take after him.

This is my family, and it will always be my legacy. It is one that I feel I can take pride in. When I die, my family will know what I've tried to do for them. They will remember my love for them, but they won't know the scale on which it existed. My whole life was devoted to them and I have no regrets. My life may have been a simple one, but it was full to the brim. I don't want to leave them.

Life is closing the door on me I'm sure, but I feel ready for it now. No longer am I afraid, for the pain will soon be gone. My good friend Jobal brought me a holobook full of poems the other day. To end my finally entry in my story, here is a touching verse

that really has helped encourage me these last days.

_This hand is bitterness, we want to taste it._

_Let the hatred know, our sorrow._

_The wise hand opens slowly, to lilies of the valley._

_And tomorrow._

_This is what it means to be held._

_How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life._

_And you survive._

_This is what it is to be loved._

_And to know that the promise was._

_When everything failed we'd be held._

My name is Rella Kenobi, and now my story is complete.

He watched her writhe in fierce agony, she was now in the final throes of her fatal illness. She was sapped of any strength she had, the only thing she could do was wait. It wouldn't be long.

"Ben," she gasped, causing him to turn his tear laden eyes to his wife's.

"Save your strength, my dear Rella," Ben replied worried.

"No use," she answered breathlessly. "My time is up."

He swallowed hard, he didn't want this to be the last moment with his wife. He knew though that she was right, it was her time. And as much as Ben would miss Rella, he didn't want her to suffer anymore.

"Don't cry," Rella ordered softly, seeing an escaping water droplet slip into his beard.

Ben took her pale hand in his strong one. "I will always love you Rella." He said with conviction.

Rella forced a weak smile and attempted to squeeze his hand. She winced as a spasm of pain tore through her weak frame. "I love you," she managed, her voice a whisper. "Don't forget me."

Ben smiled. "I couldn't," he replied looking over at his wife. With dawning horror he realized that she didn't hear him, she was gone. Rella Kenobi died with a smile on her face.

**Chapter 23**

A man sat inside a tiny hovel in the desert waste of a barren planet. This particular individual looked like he carried the entire weight of the galaxy on his shoulders. At one time he went by the name Obi-Wan Kenobi, and he was once one of the most renowned Jedi Masters. He was Ben now, the name of his father. He was an exile, a refugee from the only life he ever knew.

Obi-Wan was looking up at the stars from his transparisteel windows as he once more reevaluated the life he once had. He knew that he made several grave mistakes in his past, but he wasn't so sure how he would change them if he could. Overcoming his sorrow was something that could be a trying battle for the rest of his life.

There was only one thing he was still living for at the moment, and that was to watch over young Luke Skywalker. This precious child might someday right the wrongs his father committed. He was the one hope the galaxy needed.

The Jedi Master drew in the Force, and he felt it move through him. He could perceive many things while in the throes of the Force. One of the most common was that of visions. He didn't expect the vision that he saw next.

Obi-Wan felt choked up as he watched the scene unfold. He took steady even breaths to try and calm himself. A tear made a beeline to his beard, and he sighed. Letting go of the Force, he once more looked up at the starry sky. A bittersweet smile crossed his face.

"Be at peace, Mother."

Entry 123333

My wife Rella has passed away, and the grief of it has nearly consumed me since the day she died. For the longest time I've been trying to blame it on something, anything that would ease my suffering. To see that disease rip the life out of my once vibrant wife made me want to scream with rage and attack anyone in sight. I always imagined that we would die old together in our sleep, but in reality that wasn't possible.

I very nearly gave up the will to live myself. Then I found this journal. It has taught me how to overcome the terrible grief that nearly destroyed me. My wife wouldn't have wanted me to mourn as much as I did, she would want me to move on. She has taught me how to live with an open heart. My heart may be broken, but it will never be gone.

From the moment I met Rella, I knew there was something very special about her. She was the most understanding woman, despite the trials life threw at her. I never felt worthy of her, never felt like it was reality that she was my wife.

As she said in her diary, she felt that her legacy was her family. I'm afraid I have to disagree with her. She was the legacy, not us. She touched our lives more than she ever knew possible. Our sons are great people because of her; I'm a good man because of her. Rella was one of a kind, and there will never be another like her. Her legacy will never be forgotten.

In Rella's Loving Memory,

Ben Kenobi


End file.
